Good Riddance || Billie Joe Armstrong

Hearts Collide

I can't deny that I haven't been avoiding Billie, because I have. It's impossible for me to look him in the eye now, and what's worse is that Landon heard what he said and asked me if we were going to get back together. Joey and Jake won't even look at me, and Mike and Tre are being distant. I feel like I'm alone again, and it's the worst feeling in the world.

My body was lounged back on the couch in the green room and I was staring up at the white ceiling. Green Day was sound checking and the kids were out there messing around with them.

My head was pounding, and if I wasn't so stressed out I would probably worry about it more than I am. I haven't been to my doctor in a month now, and there was still another two months of this tour left so I had no idea if the tumor had grown again or not. It probably has though knowing its bitchass self...

A sigh escaped my mouth and I closed my eyes as the door to the room opened and shut quietly. Hopefully the person would believe I was asleep because I didn't want to be bothered at the moment.

"I know you're awake," Billie sighed so I opened my eyes to see him pouring some alcohol into a solo cup. "You know we're going to have to talk about all of this eventually right?"

"Eventually," I reply lowly, "But that doesn't mean we have to do it now."

He turned and leaned back on the makeup counter, "Why can't it be now? The longer we wait, the closer we are to you leaving me for good."

His words made me cringe. I hated the thought of death, but I didn't want to talk. I wanted to put it behind us, but that obviously wasn't going to be an option. Ten years later and he's still as impatient as ever...

"Billie if we talk about this you're going to get hurt. I'm trying to prevent that," I sighed and sat up, dropping my head into my hands. "You're too good to have to deal with all of this."

"It would be a different story if I wasn't in love with you Lauren," he spat causing me to jump slightly. I always hated when he drank because when he was angry it was multiplied. "I'd do anything to be able to spend your last months with you." He crossed the room and kneeled down in front of me.

"You have a fucking wife..." I whispered avoiding eye contact, "I'm not going to let you ruin your life for something that won't even last."

"Adrienne knows," Billie said softly causing me to finally look him in the eye. "She told me to take advantage of the time I have left with you. That's why she went home." It made sense now; what Adrienne was telling me the day we met...

I was lost in my thoughts to the point where I couldn't even react when a pair of lips pressed to mine and a hand cupped my cheek. Billie was kissing me, and at this point I didn't even care that my mind was screaming at me to pull away and slap him. My body was telling me this was right.

My eyes shut and I wrapped my arms around his neck before kissing him back. It didn't last long but it was enough to be enjoyable, and to leave the feeling lingering on my lips. "Please just let it happen. I want to be with you for the short amount of time you have left. I love Adrienne, I really do, but you were my first love and we never even got our chance."

"Okay."

---

I stood with my arms crossed over my chest and a smile on my face watching the guys preform. It makes me laugh when I think about how those three idiots used to be the biggest pot smoking punk asses I've ever met, and now they're playing to stadiums of fifty thousand plus fans.

Back then I would've never imagined this happening. Mike and I believed the band would've been done after Dookie, we never said it but we thought it constantly. They probably even believed it for a while there since Insomniac, Nimrod, and Warning never did as well as Dookie. But look where we are now, American Idiot is going to open doors for them again.

A smile formed on my face as Billie and Mike began doing shitty dances and Tre threw a drum stick at them as if saying 'knock it off'. They'll always have each other and I'm glad.

"Thank you Dublin!" Billie screamed as the lights went out and they all ran off stage. He ran over to me, picking me up and spinning me around like he always used to do after shows. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and my legs around his waist, laughing slightly at his childish act.

When I was set back on my feet my arms were still around his neck and Mike and Tre were watching us with smiles on their faces. I thought they were happy for us, but next thing I knew they were mimicking our actions causing me to roll my eyes.

"You two make me sick," Billie mumbled wrapping his arm around my waist so we could face our two friends. Tre leaned up as if trying to kiss Mike, but the taller man moved before that could happen causing Billie and I to fall into a fit of laughter.

---

Tonight we were in a hotel since the band had two days off before the next show, and somehow I let Billie convince me into sharing a room with his bushy haired self. I guess I didn't put up that much of a fight thought since I was slightly hoping he'd ask me to join him.

"Do you want to watch a movie or something?" I turned my attention towards the bathroom where he was bent over drying his hair with a towel. He was only in a pair of sweatpants so his tattoos were showing.

"I uh- Yeah that would be nice," I replied lowly turning my attention away from the man standing only a foot away from me. His tattoos look great and I need to stop staring at them.

He laughed and tossed the towel on the bathroom door to dry before walking over and lying on top of the bed next to me, "Are you sure?" He was smirking, and it was obvious by the tone of his voice.

"Billie Joe you haven't changed," I mumbled shaking my head as he nudged my shoulder and climbed on top of me. My face was obviously flushed because his smirk became more prominent when we made eye contact.

"Were you really expecting me to?" I chuckle just as he leaned down and kissed me. "Remember," he broke the kiss and looked me in the eyes, "Whatever happens, happens. Let's live in the moment."

I nod and he begins to kiss me again.