Good Riddance || Billie Joe Armstrong

Nuclear Family

                  

Present

Our silence was deafening and it was obvious Billie wanted to say a lot but he didn't know where to start. It's funny how after all this time I can still read him like a book. He was wiping his sweaty palms on his pants and couldn't make eye contact, which meant he was embarrassed and nervous. However, his posture showed that what he was about to tell me was serious.

He groaned causing me to chuckle softly, "For two people who'd never shut up when they were younger, this is embarrassing."

My words obviously caused him to calm down because his shoulders instantly relaxed. "We're the biggest mess," he chuckles causing my heart to race like when I first met him, "How've you been?"

"I uh-" My eyes shifted from him to the floor, "I've been better I guess."

He nods in understanding, "I see you dyed your hair."

I pulled a strand of my hair smiling at the red velvet color, "Yeah. I started when I turned twenty. I see you grew yours out."

"I've been trying some new things lately I guess," he says ruffling his bed head.

"Like concept albums and guy liner?" I joked causing him to smirk, "I also noticed the nose ring was gone too." Honestly that made me slightly upset. I always liked his nose ring.

"Had to get rid of it with Landon," he replied hesitantly saying out sons name, "He's always grab it."

I finally look back up at him, a smirk plastered on my face, "He's definitely your son."

"Hey," Billie laughed, "You aren't innocent yourself."

"I have my moments I guess," Billie gave me a look and I felt myself actually beginning to enjoy his presence, "Okay I'm not that bad. You're the one who wore a dress on stage."

"Okay I've actually cross-dressed a couple of times thank you very much," He replied smugly proud of himself.

I faceplam with those words and shake my head at the boy who stole my heart when I was a teen, "Why was I ever in love with you?" He bites his lip and I instantly felt bad about my miswording. I didn't mean for it to sound like I regretted being with him, because I didn't regret it at all. "Billie I-"

"I know what you meant," he said emotionless, "let's just get on with the real reason I'm here." By now I had completely forgotten that he needed to talk to me about anything. "So Landon is turning ten next week," he began, "He wants to meet you for his birthday."

Nodding I sigh and let my face fall to my hands. "Mike told me that he found the picture," I whispered, "I was hoping he'd never find out so he'd never have to meet his fuck up of a mother..."

"Lauren look at me," Billie kneeled in front of me, "You are in no way shape or form a fuck up." He bit his lip and took my hands into his hesitantly, "You did what you needed to do to fix my fuck up. I forgot to use a damn condom; like how the fuck do I forget that of all things?"

I chuckled, "That's a good question." My eyes stared deeply into his green ones, and I found myself become lost in them instantly. Ugh, snap out of it, he's married I can't allow myself to revert back to this. 

"But hey," he smiled at me squeezing my hands, "Even after everything that's happened look where we are. Both of us have matured greatly due to everything, and we have a beautiful son. It's everything we wanted."

"It just happened much earlier than we would've liked," I say lowly and nod, "We also aren't married which is my fault..."

"I fucking hit you," Billie replied bluntly, "You had every reason to walk out on me and had you not gone into labor you would've left right then and there." He's right. Totally and completely right, I would've left his sorry ass.

"How the fuck did life become so complicated," I groan and snatched my hands away from him, "God I was so in love with you. Fucking idiot..." By this point I was on my feet and pacing around my living room as Billie watched my every move.

"Well there's something that definitely did not change," He chuckled and sat down in front of the couch on the floor. I stopped with his words and gave him a confused look, "You would always be pacing when you got frustrated."

Reality was beginning to kick in again and I quickly remembered everything he had put me through when we learned that I was pregnant. Billie began treating me like shit, talking about how I was going to ruin his life with this. Why did I agree to talking to him?

"If you don't want to meet Landon it's okay," he whispered looking away from him, "I can just tell him that I wasn't able to get ahold of you."

"Billie," his words confused me, "Did you get a show down here just so you could find me?"

"I got a show down here specifically so your brother could open for us," he sighed shaking his head, "I'm pitiful I know."

"I- I want to meet him." I said without completely thinking it through.

His jaw dropped slightly before he straightened himself up and got to his feet, "Thank you so much. This will mean the world to him." He pulled a card from his pocket and handed it to me, "Call me tonight and we can set everything up."

Before I could reply he was half way out of the door leaving me alone to myself once again.