For you

Poem 7: Honesty can be a bitch

A/N:
Not that anyone reads these lol, so skip it if you want to. But i'm so shocked I finally broke 80 reads. Thats huge for me lol (cause i suck at this. As I said. But anywho, just wanted to thank yoy for reading. Well, im just gonna write now. Lol

-Bells😊

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The honest, pathetic truth is that I'm still here.

The honest truth, is I still love you dear.

And I feel like that probably hurts you and stings like a bitch.

Like bad sun poisoning, it's got a nasty itch.

But what's worse than an itch is a bite.

And through this all I'm still trying to fight.

I think that that truth may even hurt you.

But you and I both know, that's not what I want to do.

The truth is that I could try to move on,

But with you I just happened to really get along.

"You can't get the rainbow without the rain."

I don't know, maybe I'm crazy, but maybe you're worth the pain.

Honestly, if you hate me, then please, just say it.

It's like those handshakes we used to tie together with spit.

Just let it out and be honest with me.

I remember the day when we both climbed that tree.

I remember the day at the firetruck.

And now I know, it was destiny.

I know this is cheesy, but you are the best of me.

Honestly, maybe I can move on.

Maybe I should have all along.

But those moments I spent with you were some of the best of my life.

You proposed to me, told me you wanted me to be your wife.

So forgive me for getting my hopes in a knot.

I guess this wasn't what I thought.

Maybe you did really love me.

But what gets me is I love you indefinitely, infinitely.

I love you selflessly which is why I tried to protect you when I should have been protecting myself.

But the honest truth that burns and festers is that I put you above all else.

I put down what I was doing to answer your calls.

I tried to be there to stop your falls.

But in doing that somehow I hurt you so bad.

I know it would be stupid, but do you know how badly I want to tell my dad?

Tell him I made a mistake and just cry.

Tell him for the past couple weeks I've just wanted to die.

But I didn't because that would break my promise to you.

And breaking promises at least to you is not something I do.

Honestly, I've loved you since I met you that day on the playground.

I knew I'd get hurt, and that made me feel unsound.

But I ignored it and for once put my trust in a boy.

Even when the last one had treated me like a toy.

And honestly, I miss you. I miss you so much.

But I knew I'd get hurt it was more then a hunch.

So honestly, all of this is my fault.

But I still have your notes locked in my vault.

I still wear your shirt and cry into it at night.

When I wake up screaming from a nightmare filled with fright.

I'm sorry for everything I did.

But it's my fault, so who am I to kid?