Two Mermaids and One Direction

ROLANDA (JOKE chapter!! No we're NOT drunk!)

*Joke*




DARLA's POV

I stumbled around in my heels. My fat legs could not take it. It made my ankles swell up and I felt like like fat old pregnant lady.

Why am I doing this to myself you ask? Well, because I want bois to thankk I am purrrrty! I know they LUUUVVV cakey oraange faces. I mean, who's gonna look at my face and NOT want to take a bite uv itt.

I slipped on my beitamous olive colored jumpsuit. I wuz goinn to da gim. Wile I wuz dere I wuz goinn to break in my new furry 6 inch heels. I hope everyone gets jelly of my name brand great value shoes. They were expansive too! 3.99 at my local wAlmart.

I needed to freshen with more glue stick. I had put some on my liPs a whole 2 minutes ago and my lips were startin too get CHAPPED.

I LOoked down and saw I had Pitt stains. I needed to put on somemore DEE OH for my BEE OH. i grabbed mi some deeohderrant and wiped some ALL OVERRR miii jumps suit. I wUz
a FUNKAY MONKAY. I walked out

de HOUSE and posed inCase any paparazzi was out. How could any ones look at mi an NIT wannaa take me home!?

I started hobbling towards the gyim when remembered I had a her appointmant to get MY WEAVE COLORIrized. I started to go in de Oder direction.

When I got der, I walked in an told dem mie name- it was under Liam Payne's girlfriend. I did not like dat Lilly girl. She did not wear enough make up or, as I like to call it, face paint. I use the best brand- sharpee!

When my apponetment wuz over, I looked in de mirror and saw that my hair was green, red, blue, yello, purple, in that order, and the tips were ugly olive- my signature color.

I don't know why Lilly picked such a horrabel color as RED. when she can UGLY OLIVE instead.

I have started goin by mi middle name- ROLANDA!

I didn't have time to go to de Jym. I got a notification on my calendar that sedd 'shave toes at 5'oclock.

So I went home and did so! I had to look beautimous for ze party I was going to- well, crashing, tonight. I heard Liam Payne wuz going to be there. So, I decided I was going to make my own personal flash mob, of just me- flashing RVERYone der! and showing Liam JUST what he was missing!

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Okay! This is JUST a joke! It's all meant for laughs. And. NO. we. Were. Not. Drunk. I'm just an underaged minor. And also. EVERYONE LIKE LILY! written by Me(Lainey) Caroline and Anna(who is taylor)