A Touch of Courage (Troyler AU)

Chapter 15: Reflections

"Blinded alike from sunshine and from rain,

As though a rose should shut, and be a bud again"
― John Keats

Troye's POV

The light was a failing rusty stain seeping through the trees, like congealing blood. A thousand leaves whispered their encouragement and detractments as he thread on them.

He reached his dorm and opened the door quietly, closing it behind him and leaning against it heavily. He stared into the darkened room and didn't move, mind careening with half-formed thoughts and half-realized emotions. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the door, trying to get his thoughts back into order but unable to stop himself from reliving the events of the last few hours, remembering the moment things had shifted.

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Troye was talking to Tyler when something captured his attention and cut his words off abruptly. From his peripheral, he saw Tyler glance at him curiously but he couldn't move. People were all around them, the sun was still shining and yet, there was Dr. Mengele, walking down the street casually, smiling as if he hadn't been the cause of immeasurable anguish over the years.

A numbness came over his body, flowing up his fingers and sweeping over his frozen frame. When it found its way to his head, it coated it with heavy shadow and a cold voice started to fill his mind.

Troye forced himself to remain perfectly still, staring with rapt attention at the man he had tried so hard to forget. He hadn't changed at all. Of course it had only been just over a year, but still...Troye had somehow expected him to have changed, maybe aged a little-

"Troye?"

Troye didn't move, but the sound of his name jolted him, allowed him to think a little. There was no way the man he was seeing could be Dr. Mengele. It was someone that looked like him. Or it was just some random guy who looked nothing like him at all, and Troye's battered mind was melding the features to fit. It couldn't be-

Tyler called his name again, but he couldn't even begin to answer. Terrified if he took his eyes away, even for a moment, that other colder mind would take him over. He thought he'd remembered what it was like but he'd been wrong. The need to strike out or run away was all-consuming, thrilling all the way down to the tips of his toes and fingers. An overwhelming rush of adrenaline careened through him. His entire body was thick with it and Troye fought his panic, fought to stay still. It wasn't him, it couldn't be-

The sun glinted off his glasses as the man turned to laugh with one of his companions and Troye a deep corrosive fear. The air crackled like gunpowder right before the destructive spark and he felt sick to his stomach but couldn't look away, watching with an almost transfixed gaze as the man crossed the street glancing around him as he walked. His eyes seemed to focus in Troye's direction and even though Troye knew it wasn't the case, it felt as if the man were staring directly at him.

Troye felt his mind go absolutely blank with feat and his breath unconsciously quickened. For a moment he couldn't even think, couldn't even comprehend where he was or what else was happening around him.

It was a blast of noise that woke his up. Troye gasped, startled from his trance. He startled upright and tried to scramble forward. The seatbelt forced him to stay still and he felt panic cling to him like cobwebs. He had to get away why couldn't he move-

The seatbelt gave way and the car door had barely opened before the panic that had been building inside him boiled over. He stumbled back until his back hit the car and slid down, unable to breath, unable to think and so frightened he thought he might go mad.