wRoNg

7

Focus

Its about 9:30 right now, the show is continuing but I'm not.

I made sure the room had nothing of mine left behind then, told a backstage worker than I'm finished with the dressing room.

I saw Rihanna walking with her two bags out of her room. I jogged to her, "here, lemme help you with that." Without waiting for an answer I motioned my hands forward to carry her bags for her "O-oh no it's fine my crew is right outside to take it to the ca-" I rolled my eyes playfully and took the larger bag from her shoulder.

"Thank you" she smiled lightly.

"No p-p-problem" I mocked her stuttering from ten seconds ago, laughing. "Shut up." She responded quietly, and blushing.

I smiled to myself. "I'm joking, it was cute" I stood up straight and looked down at her from the side of my eyes.

When we got outside a car was already waiting for her. "Damn look at you not waiting on no one" I nodded my head. "Uh uh honey. I can't. I have things to do." She snapped her fingers repeatedly then laughing it off.

I handed her driver the two bags. "So I was thinking,-" I smirked towards her, I tried to be cute but a grown man cute if that makes sense? "Amazing. That's good for the brain." She said tapping the side of her head with her index finger.

Before I could say something back, a car beeped behind hers and we both looked. It was my car and the man walked from it to hand me my keys. I thanked them tipped him.

"But l-" I turned back to Rihanna but she was already getting in the car. "Get my number from Mel!" And with that she took off.

I smiled at the fact she wanted me to hit her up but damn I just want to talk to her, now.

I do want to get to know the real Rihanna, the real Robyn. The real her. I want to know. I want to talk to her. I would love to take her on a date. I really mean that when I say I want to get to know her better. I don't know if that's physically wise or personality wise yet but I want it. All of it.

I hopped in the drivers seat of my car, turning on the radio. Best I Ever Had by Drake comes on and I burst out laughing. Man. The fucking memories are insane.

I sped off and got onto the highway.

The song blaring through my speakers. I have the air on so the ceiling of the car is on and my windows are up. Just so I can scream a lil if I want to.

Cause she hold me down every time I hit her up
When I get right I promise that we gone live it up
She make me beg for it, till she give it up
And I say the same thing every single time
I say
You the fuckin' best

I stopped singing and instead rested my head back. I sit here remembering my times with her. She really was everything and the only thing I had at the time. It's so fucking hard, I mean I'm over it now, doesn't mean that shit doesn't hurt.

Having her head rest on my chest while she sang these lyrics so horribly...

So bad but it was so beautiful to me, only because it was coming from her.

I don't know if it's healthy or not that I'm smiling to myself right now over the memories.

August:
Mel said (678)-***-****

Me:
??

August:
She said its robs

I'm cheesing so hard right now.

I copied and pasted number to a new message saying who it is and sent it. The I thought about it. This shit was going to damn fast.

What am I thinking.

I threw my phone to the side, making it fall on the other side of the seat between the door. Fuck it. I did because I was being dumb as fuck about this.

I turned up the song just a little more.

I nodded my head to it. I know this song brings back feelings I didn't know how to control or even understand. I still don't understand them because I have felt them since that time.

I felt myself getting angry.

I'm thinking about how happiness doesn't last for me then I go and start a new thing with someone else? What the fuck am I going to do if I fall back into some shit like that?

This is some bullshit. I got caught up in a little bit of lust and suddenly forgot what's best for myself and how my mindset should be.

Focus Chris.

I hear my phone alerting a message but I ignore it. I change the channel and pretend I never fell off my shit. I shook it all off and continued speeding off.

12:30am

I closed my eyes as she rolled off of me, my hands still on her small waist.

She kissed my lips gently, "goodnight baby." She said quietly with cheerfulness in her voice.

I smiled and muffled a "goodnight." She rested her face in my neck and moved her sweaty body on top my sweating body.

I didn't mean to hold her as tight as I did. I don't know if I needed her or this feeling. It feels right.

But is she right?

I don't know if she'll wake up alone or not in the morning but I'm not going anywhere for right now.