wRoNg

29

Love You Back

Thinking about the other night I smiled again.

I haven't seen Robyn for two days but I still couldn't get that out my head.

Was she about to say it?

Maybe it was a mistake.

Me:
busy today?

fentfent:
nooope

Me:
cool I'm coming over right now

fentfent:
good I was just about to tell you to

Me:
You were just going to tell me? Not ask? Rude but ok

fentfent:
ok well then I ask you not to come then if that makes you feel better

Me:
See you in a bit baby

fentfent:
bye baby

But there is one that I know for a fact I'm doing.

Here I have her waiting on me to come around, this whole time, no rushing it either. She was there for me. I know she wants this as much as I do so why not?

And in all honesty, any other girl would've just bounced, but now I'm focusing all of Robyn, like she was doing for me and like she should be treated.

I didn't know what to tell my baby first, that I'm ready to be with her or that I'm in love with her.

Getting out of the shower around 10am I dressed myself up pretty neatly, shit I'm nervous.

I added more cologne around my neck and fixed my shoe lace.

Looking at myself one more time I nodded in approval and walked downstairs.

I guess I'll just grab something to eat with Rob.

Hearing light knocks on my door I sighed, come on man!

I opened the door and look down on my chest as the hand kept knocking.....on me.

I laughed and grabbed the hand to stop and looking at who was there.

I couldn't even explain my thought process, because there wasn't any.

I froze in place staring at the eyes in front of me.

It's her.

It can't be.

"J-Jhené?" I said lowly.

"C-Chris I missed you so much" she cried, coming towards me quickly hugging me.

I wrapped my arms around her, I still couldn't believe it.

5 years with this woman. The only person I've ever loved as much as I did.

Shit I almost married her.

"Baby p-please I miss you, I'm so sorry about everything." She told me.

"Chris I cant get over it, I hate myself for doing what I did, I'm sorry baby I really am! Fuck! I missed you so much" she kept saying over her cries.

"I c-cant believe I'm here with you it feels so unreal." She said.

I walked over to the couch and pulled her to sit on my lap.

I couldn't even talk.

She cried into my neck and I let a tear fall from my eye.

"I-I love you." She said.

I closed my eyes quickly, not ready to hear those words.

I haven't heard them spoken like that since when we were together.

"Chris p-please talk" she said lifting her head up from my shoulder, holding my cheek to make me look at her.

She was literally my entire life at one point. My queen! And that's exactly how I treated her.

I looked at her and between us both having bloodshot eyes you can see how much we missed each other.

I shook my head, I cant talk.

I looked down at her body on top of mine.

She moved her hands to the back of my head, like she used to do. She laid her head on my shoulder again and sniffled a few times.

"I love you so much, still, after all these years." She whispered.

I felt my eyes start to feel heavy and I just drifted off into a nap, all that crying got me tired.

Waking up probably a half hour later, she was laying on me still, not asleep, just taking in the moment.

I looked at her tiredly and she gave me a weak smile while shaking her head slowly.

"I missed you, a lot." I said running my hand over her hair slowly.

Tears formed in her eyes again.

"Jhené I gotta tell you something."

She looked a little worried but I know I had to say it.

"I-I can't do this again I can't. I've held myself back for years and I'm actually seeing so-"

And with that she stood straight was still sitting on me.

"No stop listen to me" I held her waist in place.

A tear ran down her face and it looked like she just gave up.

"Listen to me. This is the first time in how many years? 6? That I'm not letting what happened between us effect what's going on in my life right now."

She scoffed because she wasn't getting her way, she stood up ready to leave.

"I-I'm sorry Chris I don't know what else to say."

"And I forgive you Jhené but you have to understand where I'm coming from, I just can't be hurt like that."

"It hurt me too, why can't we get through it together?"

"Jhené." I sighed. She wasn't even listening.

"Baby I'm sorry. But we were two months away from our wedding, I'm still in love with you! You're on my mind all the time I-I can't live without you."

"You don't know what the hell I went through after you. You don't. You think I can just bounce back with you just like that? Shit if I could I would, don't get me wrong you were my entire life Jhené but I can't. I can't do that to myself."

"Fine." She said. But she said it in such a sad tone. I never want to see her hurt. No matter what.

"I'll see you later, huh?" She asked. My heart broke a little since that was the last thing I told her when I left.

I sighed and let her leave.

I don't know why I still felt like I was doing the wrong thing, I know it's good for me but it's like all my fault.

I checked my phone beside me to see two missed calls from Robyn. Shit I was supposed to go over.

Putting my phone in my pocket, I stood up to leave.

••

BeFoUr is completed! 5 chapters showing some background of Chris x Jhené so you guys should read that to see where they are both coming from.

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