pretty boy | taekook

staying back

chapter fifty-five ;; staying back
third person
°☆.。.:*・°☆

"T-Taehyung?" Jeongguk whispers, eyes groggy and vision hazy. He suspected to be taken back home, but now as the young boy's eyes continue to adjust, it becomes clear that it's extremely dark outside. The moon shines down on him in a midnight sea, and his uncomfortable hospital bed is highlighted. An IV continued to fuel him with fluids, and wires stuck down by some sort of white sticker littered his stomach and chest and back, "Taehyung?" Once more, Jeongguk calls out, voice cracked.

The toilet in the bathroom loudly flushes, and the sound of a faucet being turned on. Taehyung quickly rushed out of the small space and speeds over towards Jeongguk's side, sitting back down, "Hey, hey, I'm here." He assuringly whispers, "I just went to pee, that's all."

"Why am I still in this damn room?" Jeongguk loudly complains, upset and confused, and it didn't help his arm was sore from whatever they were injecting him with. All the boy wanted was for Taehyung to tightly hold him.

Said boy's throat had gone dry long ago, licking his lips and looking down to take ahold of Jeongguk's hands., "Gukkie, I- I have some news."

"Am I leaving tomorrow?" Jeongguk asks with a hopeful gaze.

"N-No, baby, it's...it's almost the exact opposite." He had to blink tears away from his sad eyes, "You're, um...you're starting chemo..."

Jeongguk looks down at their hands, which were still clasped together. He knew this was coming. It was a gut feeling he'd had. As soon as he was rolled into the emergency room, the young boy knew that something worse was happening, that whatever was wrong wasn't just dehydration.

But some of it was his own fault. Jeongguk wanted to hide. He wanted to act like he was okay and didn't need the help. Deciding to do that only left Jeongguk in a much worse spot than before. From pretending to be okay, he had only made himself an even worse condition to rest in.

Jeongguk didn't cry; he stayed completely silent, deadly silent. Oddly enough, Taehyung didn't like the sound of not hearing anything. The ticking of the clock perched on the wall felt cold- mechanical, unnerving and unsettling and causes his eyes to look around the room in almost an attempt to avoid his boyfriend's blank gaze. In some sense, Taehyung wanted the one in the bed to cry. He wanted to hear raw emotion and true sadness, and being met with dead silence was, for some reason, almost terrifying.

But Jeongguk did slowly and painfully sit up more, being careful of the sticky wires and needles poking him. He quietly rested his heavy and tired head onto Taehyung's wide shoulder, deeply breathing in before breathing out. His eyes were fluttered shut, showcasing long eyelashes instead of dark brown orbs and dilated pupils. Either way, Taehyung found the sight to be mesmerizing, staring down at the head on his shoulder.

"I'm not leaving you." Jeongguk softly speaks. New found hope is filling his veins alongside the medicine.

Before he was a crying mess, afraid of leaving, but now that he was actually at the chopping block, there was something new pumping into him. A sense of desire and understanding. Jeongguk is going to make it, and he has such a high feeling in his stomach that his wish to live was going to come true.

He is going to finish high school and college. He is going to buy a house with Taehyung. He is going to get married. He is going to adopt kids, knowing just how amazing of a father Taehyung will be. He his going to live a life full of everything that he needs, nothing more and nothing less.

"I didn't plan on you leaving..." Even with Taehyung's terrified tears and words, something in him still had a tight grasp around the idea of Jeongguk staying alive through all of this, "Here," he whispers. Jeongguk slowly removes his head as the older boy reaches over to grab a plastic cup of water and carefully lifting it up to his dry mouth, "is your arm sore?"

Jeongguk nods his head once Taehyung puts the cup back down, "I thought so." He sighs loudly, "They're getting you ready for chemo tomorrow, so they're putting this weird stuff into you so your body can be less harmed."

Jeongguk only holds onto Taehyung's coarse hand and runs his slim fingers across the skin, "How many kids do you want?"

Taehyung thinks his heart stopped for a moment or at least leapt into his throat. The elder boy listens closely to Jeongguk's breathing while waiting for his answer, and Taehyung clears his throat with a sad smile making its way. He gets it. Jeongguk's in the mood to ignore, and though it may not be healthy in the long run to turn away from reality, small doses are fine, and Taehyung finds himself relaxing at the thought of discussing a future seeming so far away yet realistically zooming their way at full speed.

The sort of tone Jeongguk withheld inside his small voice made a sense of anxiety from minutes ago nearly disperse. This is what the tanner boy had wanted. He wanted the most loved one in his eyes to love him just as much, to think about their future first. Just knowing Jeongguk was thinking about them and what they will be made his whole essence uplift.

"Hm," Taehyung loudly thinks, "I want three: two girls and one boy."

"Really?" Jeongguk grins through sleepiness, "I feel like one child is enough. Besides, I don't want our daughters picking on their only brother."

Taehyung laughs, "Then we'll compromise, one boy and one girl."

"Mm, alright."

"Names?" Taehyung looks down at the small boy who now had moved to where his head was comfortably in the latter's lap. Jeongguk obviously grew tired of trying to be careful about wires.

"I want the boy to be Sungmin and the girl to be Jisu." Jeongguk mumbles against the fabric of Taehyung's jeans. He'd begun to already drift back to sleep, eyes fluttering but using such might to stay open.

"I really like those names, Gukkie." Taehyung calmly speaks while running his fingers through raven hair, mind drifting away to other things.

"I really like you, Taehyung." Jeongguk giggles when the other outright laughs, head tilting back.

"I know you do, and I really like you too."

And soon Jeongguk was softly snoring, breath coming out in slow and even pants and form curling in on itself. Taehyung was so unbelievably grateful for the soft sound, for all he wishes to do is hear each strong breath filling and leaving Jeongguk's lungs. He would continue to cherish each puff of air passing rosy lips.

There were in fact tears rolling down Taehyung's face, but he couldn't really tell whether they were of happiness or depression. Maybe it was just another short moment needed. He felt like he'd been crying too much lately, showing too much emotion.

Jeongguk couldn't be a true blame. The younger boy was obviously trying to do his best, trying to have high hopes and a light way to things, but sometimes, even if you try something with all of your will and might, to the point of exhaustion, not every aspect or person will be wholly pleased. That's what made Taehyung fall more and more in love, a reminder that Jeongguk was human and real. His efforts were strong yet not perfect and it was one of the most endearing qualities.

Taehyung finds himself missing the past and stupidly fearing towards the next coming weeks. Even tomorrow sounds frightful. Taehyung can't even put proper thought towards the multiple ones clogging his mind and leaving a sour taste in his mouth. He honestly feels like an absolute coin getting flipped over and over again.

That's why he slowly puts Jeongguk's head back onto the thin mattress, moving off of the plastic chair to the uncomfortable couch, stiff. Pulling the spare and thin blanket he'd asked for over his head, Taehyung remains quiet and squeezes his eyes shut, hoping to clear out all of the terrible ideas nesting into his brain. Jeongguk needs him the most now, yet Taehyung needs the younger as well.

----

i might be depressed to some extent, but chanyeol is my daddy.

(but seriously, sorry for the depressing and bleh update)