pretty boy | taekook

i understand

chapter eleven ;; i understand
jeongguk's perspective
°☆.。.:*・°☆

The tension was unbelievably present all throughout lunch that it made me want to vomit. It was sad, knowing that Taehyung and Jimin didn't get along. I was grateful that the two at least tried to hide it the best they could, but it really didn't work out. At one point, I was almost terrified with the stare Jimin was giving Taehyung, and it didn't help that I was in between the two of them. As an instinct of myself getting used to being physically close with Taehyung, my body automatically leaned into his side, almost burying my head into his shoulder. His body heat was unbelievably comfortable to be engulfed by, so I almost fell asleep on the spot, only to be awoken by Jimin poking my side to talk to me once again.

"Jeongguk," Seokjin says once lunch is over. Jimin had to rush to his next period class since it was on the other side of school, but Taehyung stayed with me, "can I talk with you for a moment?"

"Uh, yeah, I guess." My quiet voice responds, remarkably confused.

Seokjin shows a kind smile over towards Taehyung before leading me outside of the school, into the small garden area right next to the cafeteria. I stand behind Seokjin, and we both face the sun's rays. My eyes squint in order to not be blinded by them while goosebumps drive up on my legs as it's extremely cold today.
It was stupid of me to wear shorts, but I never did and I was in the mood to. With the sky being cloudless, it allowed even more cold air to fall and warm air to go up and out of the atmosphere, leaving us in a faint frost. Convection always interested me.

I was about to question Seokjin and ask him why he dragged me out here before being shut down, "I hope you know that I care..." His old voice whispers, still not facing me. Out of culture, my respect for Seokjin was already high, he was my elder, after all, but the way that he acted around me made it immensely strengthened.

"But I don't even know you." I faintly say, afraid of angering the older.

Seokjin looks over his shoulder at me before back up to the sky. I don't know why he was staring, there was nothing to stare at, until a butterfly of green wings flutters by. It was exciting to see some form of life in the winter set as all bugs were usually dead and in Hell where they belonged, "You don't have to know someone in detail to care." He wisely says, pulling me out of my trance of staring at the dainty creature.

"It doesn't make sense, though." I say back, walking forward so that my shoulder lines up with Seokjin. He was still taller than me, setting my face into flames of being smaller once again.

"It makes perfect sense: the act that I'm pursuing is human nature, Jeongguk." He looks over once again, serious lines set into his flawless skin, "There are things that people don't know about me, not even my closest friends." Seokjin lets a sigh pass his large lips, looking down at the dull grass, "I understand how you feel, emotionally."

"That's impossible. You can't do that."

"Oh, but I can," Seokjin smiles sadly and ruffles his honey hair slowly, "I know the feeling of being trapped inside your body, thinking of the inevitable death that's bound to come every second we live longer on this treacherous Earth we call home," The smile slowly falls from his face, "it sucks."

"It's painful."

"I know...but, Jeongguk, you can't live life while claiming yourself as the only one who suffers." Seokjin's tone sends bullets through my heart that was already dragging with each passing moment through this conversation.

"I know that I'm not the only one who suffers." I offensively say, not enjoying Seokjin's words of putting me down. I've already been put down enough.