pretty boy | taekook

hold me tight

chapter eight ;; hold me tight
taehyung's perspective
°☆.。.:*・°☆

Jeongguk never came back that day, and it wouldn't stop entering my brain at every moment it had. Yes, English was our last period the school day, but it still heavily worried me that he just vanished, almost like the small boy never existed. The only reminder that he was ever at this school was his black locker number engraved onto the strip metal of that shines in a reflection as small as a window in a classroom.

I stood there for a while with my backpack lazily hanging onto my slumped shoulder, awaiting for the petite boy to finally come back from wherever the hell he went. And no, he was not in the bathroom. I awkwardly checked and called out his name only to be scolded by a boy that I've seen a few times around school.

A soft sigh escapes my lips as I finally lean my back against the row of red painted lockers, their paint chipping at the corners. The halls now contained literally no one. There was a football game today, people either rushed to get a good seat on the bleachers or rush to get away from the crowd of people.

Nonetheless, I stand against the row of metal, waiting and waiting and waiting until I can't wait any longer. My eyes scan the hallways once more, lulling my head around ever so slightly before finally deciding that I had waited long enough for the smaller to come back.

I kick myself off of the wall, letting out a soft yawn before shuffling over to the locker room. I hadn't gotten much sleep the last few nights. My mind simply just wouldn't shut down. It was always thinking of impossible things, making up scenarios that left my mind boggled. There was always a person, a boy, who was small, that's all I knew, figure dark and blurry around the edges.

Deep down the entirety of my body knew exactly who the person was, I just couldn't allow myself to accept it. Who ever thought that my own dreams would be made up of a boy? Never have I ever turned to look at a guy in any way other than friendship.

Now I was and it made my hands clammy. I didn't fear others and what they thought. People already wanted to rip my throat out, jealous of successfulness and hard to obtain close circle of friends. I was more afraid with myself and how I'd deal with the whole revelation. Surely, I'd be wigged the fuck out at first, not sure how to go about things, constantly afraid to even look at a boy since it may show too much. If I stare at a girl with one side of my mouth upturned it's known to be blamed on my teenage hormones, but when it comes to sharing that same face with someone of the same sex, there could be so many other things to blame it on.

I vigorously shake my head, attempting to rid it of the perpetuous thoughts that infinitely bounce through my infinite container of a world that I claim as my own mind. The game starts in only ten minutes, I can't begin to think too far into things now. Yesterday I said that I wasn't up to playing the game today, and I know for a fact that I still stand by that, but I can't sit out and rip away from something I find grounding familiarity in.

Everyone would be disappointed in me.

----

I was distracted, unbelievably so. The ball kept fumbling and I kept falling. I was making a complete and utter fool of myself. When I first entered the large field, my hopes were there, if only a sliver, that I'd discover Jeongguk's petite body in the corner of a bleacher, hoodie over his head to hide his pale face that looked extremely young and distressed with knowing too many things. My happiness to see him was completely shattered when peering out towards the heaps of usuals.

It was obvious when my smile slipped from my face, it's not like I tried to hide it. Seokjin sent me an odd stare, folding his arms and standing where our extremely cold bench in the grass is placed.