Mama said

Ch.11

"I'm going to do this" I kept repeating to myself as I packed my clothes. It took a lot of talking  to myself to go through with this. On the bright side my mom got a promoted to manager on her job at the hotel. Turns out the last manager got fired for being sexually active with one of the cleaning ladies.

I'm happy for my mother I am, she's making a lot more money than she did before and she's happy. But that'll all going down the drain once she finds out I'm leaving. I planed on telling her once swae and jxmmi got here.

I feel like complete shit doing this. my mom hasn't been this happy since my dad died and here i am leaving her.

My birthday is next month I'm hoping I can come back down here to spend it with her.

"We're outside" swae texts

Deep breaths Kyrie you got this, your a young woman who needs to stand her ground I told myself as I grabbed my suitcases and walked down the stairs

"Just where are you going ma'am"

Dammit she always beats me too it. Here goes nothing

"Mom I love you and despite all the arguments I know you love me too.. It's been really hard since dad died and we were all we had left but I'm getting older and I need to learn how to make my own decisions. I want you to be proud of me mama. I-i just want you to look back on me and feel as though I was worth all the trouble I've put us through" by now my  mom was in tears

"Kyrie what are you talking about sweety?" You were never any trouble to me, your fathers death had nothing to do with you he was killed in Iraq while in war. He loved you and so do i, I will always love you no matter what we go through....where is all this coming from?"

"I'm going to LA mom.. With slim and jxmmi and there is NOTHING you can do to keep me from going " I say

"Like hell you will" my mother replies

"You barely know these kids"

"I KNOW THEM ALOT BETTER THAN YOU DO, YOU NEVER EVEN TOOK THE TIME TO GET TO KNOW THEM"

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU YELLING AT? I AM YOUR MOTHER"

"Jxmmi and swae have been waiting long enough I should leave now" I make way out the door with my mother hot on my heels.

"KYRIE DIAMOND JOHNSON GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE"my mother yelled at me as I continued to proceed through the front door of our rickety old house. "JUST LEAVE ME ALONE MOTHER I KNOW WHAT IM DOING" i shout back at her "HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY KNOW WHAT YOUR DOING" my mother shouts back as she grabs my arm and yanks me back from walking any further to "their car" "IM   IN LOVE" I managed to choke out before finally pulling my arm away from my pleading mother on her knees crying on the door step . As I continued on to "their car" all I could keep hearing was my mother begging me not to go, trying to pull me away from the lifestyle that I was slowly falling into. She couldn't stop me , no on could . As i entered "their car" i felt a hand touch my thigh as i turned my attention to my lovers they gave me a reassuring smile letting me know that everything was going to be alright . i smiled back thinking that for once in my life I would finally be somebody in this world and have a purpose because "they" were on my side but little did I know that that dull grey road they were taking me down was full of pain, lies, & drugs.

"No matter what you do I will always love you" -mama