that's gay // Lashton; Malum ✔️

18 - four days

it has been four days since luke and ashton has kissed, four days since luke had ran out and not come back. four days since ashton had woke up without the power to read thoughts. four days since he had been cutting his own skin when angry and sad because the random burns had left with the mind reading.

calum and micheal knew ashton is in an emotional state; his father isn't his father, no one that he had grown up with even knows he exists, luke had kissed him then ditched him.

micheal and calum have been taking care of the shop while ashton stayed at home hoping luke would come back. luke had texted calum every couple of hours with an "I'm okay" and "dont worry" keeping the boys from going to the police.

ashton all alone, literally alone. he doesn't have the thoughts of the neighbor's that have constant fights, he cant listen to the dog across the street mutter gibberish in his sleep. he has his own thoughts. on the rare occasion he goes out in public he only feels the judgement of everyone. he cant pop into their minds to make sure they are thinking about him. he is paranoid.

ashton is going insane, he had never felt so sad for such a long period of time. he cant sleep; staying awake with the thought of luke coming back. he knows that luke had left due to his past relationship, but ashton can't help but think it is because of how utterly imperfect ashton is. ashton is innocent, ashton isn't adorable, little micheal; sexy, ambitious calum; or tall attractive, luke. ashton is paranoid, too innocent for his own good, and now he is sad and cutting. thinking only of screwing up things with his father, with luke, going as far as how he screwed up with micheal months back.

he does the thing, the cutting thing, only because he misses the pain of the burn marks that used to appear.

micheal and calum come home to see ashton in lukes bed, in lukes sweater, crying, with blood seeping through the sweater. he couldn't clean up in time when he heard his freinds coming into the room so he had just cried, trying to find blankets to cover up with. the blankets had been kicked on the floor and the two friends had walked into the room.

ashton was thinking of excuses, he has heard the stories of teens who would try to kill themselves, teens who went to hospitals, not only teens but adults. people who had tried to kill themselves, some get involved in drugs and prostitution. he knows how micheal and calum will react, they will try to fix him when ashton himself doesn't know what is wrong. his powers are gone, he cant be fixed.

micheals eyes widen, calum looks calm almost as if he was used to it or has seen it before. calum had, he has been friends with luke long enough to have seen this, to have seen his relapses.

micheal is screaming before calum can react. he is screaming about how ashtons sadness is all lukes fault saying, "luke did this to you! luke left you alone, he knows you can't deal with your feelings! it's been four days and the little fucker is still running away from his problems!"

calum hushes micheal and takes him to micheal and calums now shared room to calm him down. it's ten at night and it only takes ten minutes for micheal to fall asleep so calum can sneak out and back into lukes room, where ashton has been.

ashton is wide awake when calum sits next to him on lukes bed. calum hugs ashton tightly with a, "im so sorry you feel the need to harm yourself. there are other ways to deal with everything ash, you can talk to me or micheal. even a therapist if need be. ashton, micheal and i love you, even luke loves you."

ashton is sobbing, he has four days of tears and sleep deprivation catching up with him. ashton pretends it's luke holding him, luke running his fingers through his hair, luke wiping his tears and whispering nice, comforting things.

it makes ashton fall asleep for the first time in forever, and calum gets up and gets ready to call the douche bag he calls his best friend.

luke.