that's gay // Lashton; Malum ✔️

19 - worse

"luke robert hemmings." calum growls into the phone, micheal is in their room sleeping.

"yes, cal?" says luke, who is much more happier than their first call three days ago.

"get home right now." calum replys, almost pleadingly.

"and why must i? im still thinking things out. plus, mom is making some bomb ass cookies."

calum sighs and says, "ashton is worse than I originally thought. i know you are enjoying the company of your family and all but you need to fix whatever you have with ashton."

lukes voice increases a small bit when ashton came into the conversation, "what do you mean worse? is he okay? what happened?"

another small sigh escapes calums mouth when he replys with, "im not gonna be the one to tell you but he is pretty messed up. and i dont know what to do, micheal is screwed up about it. just come back."

luke agrees on the other end of the phone, i hear him putting things into his suitcase muttering an "i will be back in three or four hours."

A couple hours later

ashton is sitting in lukes room. he had heard the entire conversation between luke and calum; or calums side of the conversation, but even from that he knew luke was coming back. luke cares too much about ashton to just ignore the fact that he is "worse than origionally thought."

ashton also knows that luke is the one in the living room talking to calum and micheal. he knows he can pretend to sleep so he doesn't have to talk to luke. he knows that he can go into his own room.

instead ashton sits on lukes bed, snuggling into lukes sweater, and thinking about what he should say to luke when he comes in after getting yelled at by micheal.

ashton had spent the last three hours wondering what he will say to luke, if anything at all. ashton is angry at luke, as he should be. luke had just left ashton without a word.

ashton can't deal with his emotions he just cant deal with anything very well; with luke leaving, the argument with his father, no one from his kingdom remebering him, and being jealous of the seemingly perfect relationship between calum and micheal he had to find a way to express his emotions.

luke knew that ashton had cut and has been cutting since he left, he knew when micheal had kicked luke in his ballsack while cursing out profanities.

after the explaination from Calum, luke knew that he deserved the kick he had gotten and he sat in the living room deciding whether or not he should go see ashton.

ashton didnt even look up when he heard the door open. He didnt look up when luke sat beside him, he just looked at his hand knowing that luke will either feel sorry for him, or yell at him and he wants neither.

luke sighs and lays his head on a pillow, staging ashton down with him saying, "this is all my fault and there isn't enough "I'm sorrys" in the world to explain how sorry i am.

"i shouldn't have left you without even saying anything it was rude and uncalled for. i went to see my mom, she talked me through alot of things and i think i have my priorities straight.

"im sorry it took so long for me to realize how much i love you, ashton. i really love you and i didnt want to love anyone, except maybe a dog."

ashton gives luke and blank stare, he is tired of the confusion luke is giving him, he is tired of being sad, he is tired of how clingy he is, he is tired of slitting his wrist, he is tired of crying. he is tired of everything.

luke grabs ashtons wrist to see what he had done to himself, to see how deep ashton was stupid enough to go.

what ashton has done to himself wasn't as bad as it could have been. but once luke holds into ashtons hand broken sobs escape his mouth.

luke continues his rambling saying how everything is all his fault, that he loves ashton, that micheal should have kicked him harder, hating himself more than ever before. luke doesn't deserve ashton.

ashton is crying too after hearing like ramble, ashton holds into him, giving him a hug, and soon after kissing luke. this kiss is different than any kiss either of them have recived; the cheesy fire works wernt there, they feel as if their heart is about out explode, they pant into each others mouth, messy kissed and clanking teeth as they try to forget all the shitty stuff that has happened in the last coupl of days. just sitting there crying and making out; high off the presence of each other.

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Idk man, none of this probably makes sense considering I wrote this filled with my own emotions; I love all of you stay strong and live life ✌
- Em