Leaving love

What hurts the most

This can’t be happening. No wonder Vivian wanted to be the girl in the contract. Why did my father have to do this to me? So I did what any one would do. I ran, someone chased after me but I didn’t care. I needed to get away. The person caught up with me and dragged me out onto the balcony.

I ignored whoever it was I didn’t care. No hope. Nothing. I closed my eyes I felt the person gently cup my face and turn it to face him, he gently wiped away the tears I didn’t realise I was crying. Thank god all Dee put on me was water proof mascara and red lipstick.

“Lia, please stop crying. Am I really that horrible?” The person said vulnerably. I shook my head. No. Probably not. “Then open your eyes and look at me.” He said gently. I shook my head. No. “Please Lia. Just open your eyes.” He pleaded. I resisted for a few more seconds before opening them. I glared straight into Nick’s face.  The gentle vulnerable tone of voice must have thrown me off. Or maybe it was simple denial.

“Did you know?” I demanded. Nick said nothing. “Well. Did you?!” I yelled. He nodded his head. “Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked as betrayal washed over me. I didn’t know why I felt betrayed. This was Nick. We hated each other. It was that simple. He obviously would have kept this piece of information from me.

But he promised to never do that again…

“Lia-” He started but I cut him off.

“How long? How long did you know?” I demanded.

“Before we met.” I froze. “Before you yell at me, I thought you knew. It was something big and I thought your father told you about this years ago.” I glared at him.

“He obviously didn’t.”  I snapped back. He did something that I could never have predicted. He pinned me against the wall. Dark brown eyes smothering me. The shock knocked the breath out of me.

“Don’t think I’m any happier about this than you are. Lia I hate you. You hate me. But get it through your thick head that you need me. Got it.” He hissed in my face. I glared at him.

“I don’t need you. I’ll be fine on my own. You’ll drag me down with you. Nicolas I hate you. I loathe your very existence. Just go away and leave me alone.” I spat out.

“Not until you admit you need me.” He was furious. We were cutting each other to pieces again. This was just a contest; the one that wins is the one that hits the hardest.

“Never, I will never need you Nicolas King. Never.” I hissed out the lie. He smirked.

“It’s a bad habit to lie.” He retorted temporarily shocking me. How did he know I was lying? He was so close to me that I could see gold and different shades of brown in his eyes. My heart was beating irregularly because of the anger. I pushed him away.

“I will always hate you Nick. Leave me alone.” I ran back into the hotel. My bad mood got worse when just as I was about to leave when my mother grabbed my arm.

“Nathalia, come with me please.” She demanded. She left me no place to say no so I followed her.

“I’m against you and that thing’s engagement. Nathalia, I know you are too. And I’m willing to help you break out of it if you want to. I know that the chances of you being happy with him are slim. There is no way any daughter of mine can marry someone she hates with a passion. If you decide to break it, you know where to find me.” My mother said indifferently but I could see very slight fondness in her eyes for me. My mother cared about me! I felt like doing a happy dance right now.

“Thank you mother.” I said formally. She gave me a slight smile in return before it turned into a frown.

“Don’t thank me just yet. I may have stopped your father from going to extremes but he still insists on you moving in with him.” My good mood vanished instantly. “Before you cut in, I’ll hire people to sanitize and clean the place up so that it’s liveable in there. However, it means tomorrow you will move in.” I stared at my mother. She was being nice. It was amazing.

I barely chocked out a “Thank you.” Before she left. It was times like this I could see the resemblance between her and me. I walked over to Ant; he took one look at my face and took my hand in his. He gave me a gentle smile and led me out of the hotel away from this place of misery.

“Do you want to go home?” He asked me. I shook my head. “Then where?” I considered for a few minutes.

“MacDonald’s.” I decided. He stared at me as if I had gone insane.

“In that dress? Lia are you serious?” I laughed at his astounded face, giggling I nodded my head.

“Yep. Live a little Ant.” I grinned at him and he laughed.

“Only you could say that Lia you crazy girl.” He said with a grin on his face. I laughed at him.

“Of course I am and you know it.” I smiled at him and laughed. My mood got better and better. I looked into Ant’s eyes and I could see myself being happy with him but never could I marry him…

Sometimes life sucks.

We were sitting in MacDonald’s eating, I swear it is amazing Ant isn’t fat yet, people were looking at us weirdly but it didn’t matter. Not anymore. I just didn’t care. I had been through too many ups and downs in this hour alone to care. He drove me to his house and stopped right there and looked at me straight in the face. Gently he cupped my face in one hand and carefully arched it up. I knew what was coming and I accepted it. Our faces moved closer together and I feel the slight pressure of his lips against mine. It was amazing and perfect and how I imagined my first kiss would be like before it was stolen.

But I felt nothing.

As perfect as it was it didn’t give me butterflies, nerves, or any special feeling. It was just a kiss. The perfect kiss but it felt like it was the worst kiss ever. When Ant pulled away the look on his face was pure, joy and love. How could I have not noticed, never known and not figure it out. Ant was in love with me.

“Lia, I really really lo-like you. Would you be my girlfriend?” Ant asked unsurely. The uncertainty and hope in those eyes broke me. I couldn’t just crush him. Slowly I nodded my head and Ant grinned and hugged me. As I looked over his shoulder I realised the car lights shone on someone I never thought I’d see at that period of time.

Nick.

The expression on his face was hate and utter most betrayal. He glared at me and went into his house. A tear slipped out of the corner of my left eye and slipped down my face. Ant pulled back and looked me straight in the eyes and I could see that this was probably one of the happiest moments of his life. It should have been the happiest moment of mine too.

And somehow, I wasn’t feeling everything I should be feeling. And knowing that, it hurt the most.