Confessions of a Cynic

S E V E N T E E N

LOVE.

A fucked up word.

She shook her head at this. Nope. You can't use that. Erase. Erase. Erase. She tapped the backspace key repeatedly and began to type again.

"Okay. Let's do this again."

ROMANCE.

Usually, people associate this with words like beautiful, excitement, universal and whatever optimistic words one could think of that they could pour unto the cauldron and mixed it together. Unfortunately, no matter how much you put sweetness in it or pixie dusts into it, it will always taste different. It's far from what you would imagine. No one could get a recipe of a perfect romance.

Kicked all the sheets you want, shove whatever things you want but it's time to set aside the fantasy and be realistic here.

She read her first draft of the article she made and wondered: Would this be good enough? She read it over and over again and she liked its progress although she felt that there was something lacking in it. From all the 5 days that she has been in the island, she summarized everything she heard and has come to a conclusion that there is no such thing as perfect relationships, perfect romance, perfect love.

The only thing she didn't understand was: How they were able to get through with it and stayed together. Because they love each other? Sick. She sighed, angrily. She hated that answer. Love builds and destroys. Love grows and withers. Love is the best and also the worse. So what's the purpose of working it together when it'll end eventually? When it'll just hurt you in the end?

This is going no where. She finally gave up and stood to stretch her muscles. She felt a a slight pang in her head. I'm thinking about this too much. I need to rest for a while. 

Standing by the balcony, she rest her elbows on the railings and began admiring the Mediterranean seas. She watched the waves, the birds, the boats and smiled at the beauty of this. She could live here forever.

From where she is standing, she caught a glance of Eros. But he wasn't alone. He was walking, side by side with a Latina babe, skin that beautifully tanned, hair in sexy waves and legs that every girl in the world would die for. They were talking with smiles on their faces and eventually turn to laughs with a bit of skin ship going on.

She continued to look at them, this time leaning her chin on her palm. But after a while, she had herself starring at Eros. That young boy she has known probably all her life has finally become a man. Beautiful, chiseled and gentle and romantic-things a woman would desire for a man. Not to mention, wealthy enough. She pitied him that moment that he has to go chase around a woman who's really no that worthy to fight for. 

Every woman he's been with-he always chase them around. Romantic or just plainly stupid?  She asked as her eyes followed him. She always wonder why he does this knowing in the end he'll get hurt but why doesn't he stop especially with that one? Who's engaged even? Has he lost his mind?

Just then, Eros' eyes matched hers. Psyche jolted and looked away and rattled out of the balcony. What was that? He saw me. He saw me looking at him. She shook her head. That gave me a skip of a beat. 

A fast and hard knocks came by the door and had Psyche jolted once more. Stop surprising me! You're giving me a heart attack here. She shouted angrily mentally.

"Hi! What are you doing here alone?" Wendy exclaimed the moment Psyche opened the door. Robert was behind her and waved at her.

"I'm just working." She replied.

"Working? In this beautiful island? Robert and I wanted to go to the sea. Get your fiance' and hang out with us." Wendy sang.

"He's-he's not here. He's walking around."

"What?" Robert spoke out. It was the first time she'd seen Robert's frown. "He shouldn't leave you alone in your room. Give him a call." Robert suggested.

She nodded, felt a bit nervous about Robert's unusual reaction. "Y-yeah. Yeah. I will."

"We'll meet you downstairs."

Psyche smiled to assured them. The moment she closed the door, she grabbed her phone and called him. 

Eros searched for her fake fiance' by the lobby, coolly.  And he saw her immediately. Who could miss that blue-green ombre' hair? She stood there, clearly looking for him too. He would admit that she's looking rather pretty with that vintage floral off shoulder top and ripped denim shorts and again personalized beaded sandals.

But then, he has always known that she was pretty.

"Hey, what's up?" He greeted her.

"Wendy and Robert wants to hang out with us." She said, crossing her arms together, along with a glare.

"Oh. Sure." He said, casually with a nod. Psyche stared at him as she shook her head. "What?"

"I bet you're in good spirits now." She commented.

"What?" He scoffed.

"Don't "what" me. I know you saw me looking at you-both." She managed to quickly insert "both" without flinching. Eros looked down at her, about to say something when Carmen popped right behind him playfully.

"Hey! What are you guys up to?" Carmen asked, gleefully. If Psyche hadn't much control she could have groaned loudly but instead she sucked the air in and showed a tight smile.

"We're going to hang out with the other couples by the sea. Want to come?" Eros invited her which Psyche had her eyes widen in disbelief. Are you serious? But the looks Psyche gave her didn't seem to bother Eros.

"Sure! Sounds fun!" Carmen clapped her hands together and smiled.

"You should call your fiance', too." Psyche suggested, knowing Eros intentions and knowing Carmen would definitely buy it.

"Oh, he's busy making a phone call. I don't want him to be disturbed. Let's go?" She said before yanking Eros' arm and head towards the sea together. Unbelievable. Psyche thought. What a sly vixen.

"What's that all about?" Wendy asked the moment she approached Psyche. She saw the whole thing.

"Carmen's with us." She said, scornfully. "Eros invited her."

Wendy looked at her, concerned. "And she's all over him like she's his fiance'? Shouldn't you stop her, Psyche?"

We can't blow our cover this time. "Oh, it'll be fine. I know my man. And besides, they're just close. Really, really close."