Confessions of a Cynic

T H I R T Y - F I V E

"How's your grandma?" Cornelia asked the moment she say Psyche on her cubicle. But there was something odd about her that day. What is her clothes? Her face? Oh, the hair. How could I miss the hair? "Oh my god, your hair!"

"Hm? Oh yeah. I went back to my natural blonde. I was going for another color this time. I'm going "Silver Fox." How that sound,eh?" Psyche asked.

"I'm sure it'll great on you. But, I like this look. I've never seen you go like this. Unusual but you still look good." Cornelia smiled.

Psyche smiled back too. "Why, thank you. By the way, wish me luck because I'll be meeting with Jessica today since today's actually the deadline for my article which I haven't really-"

"Psyche, office now!" Jessica called her out.

"Well, there it is. Time to face the music." She took a deep breath and exhaled before she stood up and walked towards Jessica's office.

"Good luck. You really need it." Cornelia said as she watched her friend walked towards the room and sighed.

"Sit down, Psyche." Jessica told her and place both of her hands on the desk, looking down on her.

"I know I don't have any article to submit today." She said it ahead of her. She was already ready for the lashings.

"It's not surprising, Psyche. When you promised to submit an article for a month, I said to myself: Have faith in her Jessica. Who knows? And when you told me you were engaged with Eros, I thought that maybe I wasn't wrong after all. Not until it was confirmed that the whole thing was a big fat lie!" She slammed her hand on the table.

"Well, I was really aiming to finish the story. I really tried and I gathered some good points for the article. I just couldn't find the words-"

"Psyche, I'm not mad about you not being able to give it to me. Well, kind of but it's already expected. What I am really furious about was that you lied to us. You lied to the office, you lied to our relatives and friends and you lied to grandma? Especially grandma Helena, Psyche. I'm just relief that she's okay now."

"More than okay if you ask me."

"This is serious, Psyche. I'm not tolerating any of your wise jokes and comebacks because I had enough already. I am greatly disappointed in you. Is this how you give back to grandma for taking you to her home? You shouldn't be acting like this, Psyche. You need to learn to grow up and avoid running away from difficult situations because it will always come back to you. It will always haunt you forever. Listen to me, Psyche-"

"Oh, I am listening." She snapped. "I've been listening for years yet nobody ever listened to me. Nobody didn't bother to listen to me because I'm the weird kid or the immature Psyche or the daughter who never had her parents who wanted her. Do you realize how that feels for years, Jessica?"

"Psyche-"

"No! No you don't because you only saw what I always portrait to others. Yet you never realize who I am through my works-through my articles. I write because I want to be heard. So, sorry for being immature and not taking you seriously."

"You're you through your articles? It's the exact opposite actually. It's nothing like you. Psyche, I am amazed with your articles. I know you are trying to convey your brilliant thoughts through writing but I never see the Psyche who loves risks, who loves color; who is sentimental; who is happy. What I see in your articles is a girl who is scared to let her whole self out because people before refuse to let her be. I see a girl who is angry and cannot seemed to moved from some past." Jessica went towards Psyche and knelt down to look at her. "I care for you, Psyche. I want you to let go of it." She held her hand and gave it a squeeze.

Psyche look at her aunt in the eyes. Maybe she was right after all. "Can you give me another last chance?"

"If it's going to a reflection of yourself. Give me you, Psyche."

Once again, Psyche starred at the blank page of her laptop. She saw the same blinking line on the screen, waiting for her to push one letter until it could make it to a word. But, how? How could she write when nothing can came to her? Or could it be because I have so much in my mind right now I don't know how to begin?

"Ugh! Why are you doing this to me? Why now?" She let her head lay on the table. "Why? Why?"

She then felt her stomach grumble and she smiled. Finally, something that I am sure about what to do.

She waited for the pizza delivery guy to deliver her bacon cheeseburger pizza right at her doorstep. She squatted right in front of her door, waiting for the knocks and yells for twenty-five minutes.She nearly jumped when she finally heard it.

"Psycynic? Pizza for -Oh." The guy called but Psyche opened the door with a big grin on her face. "Here's your pizza, ma'm."

"Thank you. Here keep the change." She said as she handed the money and closed the door, not seeing the wide smile on the guy's face when he saw the big tip he could get.

She placed the pizza on the table and let out the wine that she had weeks ago. She opened it and swore she had her mouth water at the smell of the cheese and the bacon. Finally, some happy things that come her way after days of drama.

Just as she was about to take a huge bite of the dripping cheezy pizza, there was a knock on the door. She decided to refuse it at first and took the 1st bite she could get from the pizza but the knocks were persistent and desperate that she slammed the pizza down and stomped towards the door. How dare someone destroy her "Pizza Friday Happiness".

"Excuse me but could you-" She stopped as she found the handsome blonde man standing in front of her, looking at her back.

"Hi." Eros said.

"What-what are you doing here?"

"Granny and Helena is right, Psyche. We need to sit down and talk."

"Well, I'm busy so-"

"I would rather have you talk to me then you eating your pizza right now."

"How would you know?"

"The smell. It's really tasty. A-anyway," he cleared his throat before he continued, "Psyche. Please, just talk to me."

"Oh? So now you want to talk? Well, it's a little late for that so-"Psyche was about to close the door but Eros stopped it with an arm. They struggled with each other until Psyche gave up and let him win.

"It's better to be late than never, right?"

Psyche stared at him and crossed her arms together. "Fine. But, you can't come in. That line between the hallway and my room is the boundaries. You can't touch me or anything."

"Fine. Whatever. I can deal with anything."

"Good. What do you want to talk about? Because I have nothing to say."

Eros sighed. "Well, it seems that you don't want to talk so fine, I'll be the one to talk." He cleared his throat before gathering up the strength and the confidence to convey his feelings." You said, I have done something to you "that night". What does that mean?"

She raised an eyebrow at him.

"I'm serious. I am asking you now. What do you mean "that night"?"

"Don't play dumb, Eros. You perfectly know what I am talking about." She scoffed but seeing Eros' confused face had her confused either. "That night. It was-it was prom."

"What about prom?" He asked.

"You wrote a letter to me and slipped it in my locker. That pink letter." She said, putting her hands down. "Why are you being quiet? Why do you look confuse, Eros?"

He continued to be silent and stared at her. "What letter, Psyche? I never wrote to you anything."