Confessions of a Cynic

E I G H T E E N

Psyche just loves how her toes dig into the white sands of the beach. She believes that it is a natural exfoliate for the skin-she once read. She smiled as she wriggled her toes into the sand, watching Wendy and Robert running towards the sea.

"You still love to do that?" Eros questioned beside her, watching her wriggling her toes. 

She looked up at him, still wearing than smile on her face. "Of course. I love burying them."

"Eros! Over here!" Carmen called him out from the shore. She was already in her bikini-a diagonally cut bikini. 

Psyche frown at this. "Your evil queen's calling you. You better get there." She said, not even bothering to hear Eros' reply. She walked towards the lounge chair, away from Eros. She felt weird though at the way she acted as she approached the lounge chair. She always acts cold whenever this happens. Jealousy? Please. She shrug off the idea. Maybe I just don't like the feeling of being used and then being tossed aside afterwards. 

"Oh." She stopped the moment she saw another person at the other side of the lounge chair under a huge yellow beach umbrella. Sitting up was a woman in a white tunic cover up over her dark blue sailor swimsuit like the ones Pin-up girls wear before. She was reading a book while sitting up with her leg stretch and the other bent. But hearing Psyche's reaction she stopped and looked up with her sunglasses on.

"Hi. Psyche right?" The woman, Amanda, smiled before removing the sunglasses up towards her head, revealing her large blue eyes.

"Yup. That's me." She nervously chuckled. "Is this lounge chair taken?" She asked, pointing at the empty chair.

"No. No. Go ahead." She said, placing the book down. 

"You're alone." Psyche said, sitting down while placing her things at the side. 

"Oh, Henry just went upstairs to get the sunblock and a mat. You?"

"Over there." She sighed pointing at Eros and Carmen by the shoreline, splashing each other with the seawater.

Amanda was surprised and was even more surprised to see Psyche being cool about it. "Sounds like it's not a big deal that you're fiance' is with a Latina babe." She said nodding, studying Eros and Carmen. "Doesn't she have a fiance' too? I've seen her around with a Iranian man often."

"She loves to go fishing around." She said, leaning on the chair and pulled down her round glassed and closed her eyes.

"Yeah? I've seen her a lot with your man too."

"They're pretty close."

"Too close to me." Amanda was silent before she blurted out, "Do they have a history together?"

Psyche opened her eyes and springily, sat up. "What? You know?"

She chuckled at this. "I'm a romance novelist. Back before Henry and I are together, I've done research in this kinds of things and usually, with this kind of scenario...I'll say, they went out and probably ended too soon. When he heard that she's engaged, he chased her here in this island. You, however, got dragged into this, right?" She looked at her and Psyche couldn't even say a word. She has it all figured out.

"Wow. That is amazing." Psyche said, clapping her hands that Amanda was able to put all the puzzle together. "You could write a mystery thriller, Amanda. I'm impressed."

She gave a chuckle. " I've read and wrote these kinds of things but I never would think it could happen. I listened to your story two days ago and figuring how you reacted and finding both of them almost always together, I figured...maybe you two are just faking it. Don't even get me started to you being a journalist, Psycynic."

This time Psyche stood up and clapped her hands even harder. "I am out of words, Amanda." She then bowed down playfully, "Please let me be your apprentice."

Amanda laughed at her, "Stop it. You're exaggerating. I just read  your articles and really had me wondering, why does this cynic agreed to get engaged?"

"You want to know the truth?" She sat down beside Amanda and lowered her tone, "Actually, my career is hanging on the line and I need a great article to write and this event would help do it."

She nodded at this, understanding everything that has been happening, "I see. He wanted his ex back and you wanted your career to get on the line. Seems legit."

"But please, " She began to plead, "Don't tell anyone. Our grandmothers would be upset about everything that we've been scheming." 

"Okay. But, as a friend, you know that there is no truth that remains hidden. Sooner or later, everyone's going to find out. That'll lead to a bigger problem."

Psyche sighed sadly, thinking about her grandmothers."I know. I know."

"But you know, it's not really that problematic actually." 

She looked at Amanda who was already lying down again, putting her sunglasses back on. "What do you mean?"

"I was just listening to both of you-you know, that night when we had a Couple sharing? Seems to me that everything that you two are saying are well-true."

This time, Psyche scoffed and moved back to her lounge chair and lied down. "That's ridiculous. We made it all up. And also, let's not forget the fact that I'm a cynic."

"Like what George Carlin said: 'In every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist'." She stated.

Psyche ate almost every snack that is offered to her as she watch Henry and Amanda on the beach, running and chasing each other. And Eros has been noticing it.

"Maybe I should just being the kitchen here so the waiters wouldn't bother bringing down food for you." Eros said, looking at Psyche gobbling down food after food. Psyche then stopped and had a sip of her drink.

"Shouldn't you be with someone? Why are you here with me anyway?" She questioned, irritably.

"She went back to her "prince." And besides, you're my fiance' and people should think that we are together. So, we should be together."

She scoffed at this. "You just realized that now? People already figured out that our engagement is fake."

"What?" He snapped, moving quickly beside Psyche. "Who-who knew? How?"

"Well just one, actually." She scooted an inch away from him with one slide of her butt.  "She's really smart to put all the clues together. She figured it out all on her own. It amazed me really." She said, looking back towards Henry and Amanda now swimming on the beach. "You don't need to worry. She won't be telling anyone."

"Good. Good." Eros sighed out of relief. It would be bad if they got caught.

"How can someone be so in love?" She asked out of the blue. Eros looked at her as she stared at the two couples who was distant from them.

"What?"

"I mean look at them. Look at Wendy and Robert." She pointed at them who was now, leaning with each other admiring the sea "It's hard to believe to be so in love like that. The kind which you can hold on to forever. The kind which you would believe is never going to slip away from your fingers."

"Did you fall in love once? But it slipped away?" He asked her, gently and curious. 

"I think I did." She said in a 'I just realized' tone. "Thinking about it, it hurt and I feel... broken. Not just here-" she pointed her heart-"but the trust, too." She scoffed when she remembered what Amanda just told her a moment ago, "Maybe it's true I was a disappointed idealist after all." She looked at Eros with her moisten eyes and he looked back at her with eyes full of sympathy, "But that was years ago. It's done. And I'm just glad it's never coming back."