shawn mendes imagines {under editing}

i don't know {requested}

shawn mendes imagines
imagine lxxi
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lena's pov
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requested by: @Lena_SM_12

shawn and i were in the middle of yet another heated argument, causing tears to make my eyes burn and make my heart pound rapidly. i knew he was only stressed, but fights with him always scared me. it's not that i thought things would get physical, just i hated having bad blood between us.

"lena, you just don't understand!" shawn said, his voice loud as his eyes were filled with anger.

"understand what? that all i want is my boyfriend to spend a little more time with me than what he has been? because if it's more than that, please fill me in because i'd love to hear it!" i tried to sound firm but my voice was shaking the whole time i spoke.

"how do you not get that i have a second album that is soon due to be finished?! i can't just leave the studio just to spend time with you! i wish it worked like that but it just doesn't!!" shawn yelled.

"is it that you can't? or is it just that you don't want to?" i asked, tears now streaming down my face.

shawn came closer to me, and before i knew it, there was a stinging pain in my face. i gasped, staggering backwards with shock. i pressed my hand to my cheek to hopefully dull the pain, looking up to see the monster in front of me.

but i didn't see a monster.

i seen shawn, the boy i fell in love with many years ago.

he looked exhausted.

his eyes were droopy and teary, his hands were trembling at his sides and his hair was messy. tears continued to run down my cheeks as did his, shocked as to why he would do such a thing.

"baby, i-i'm so sorry," shawn said, coming towards me. as much as it hurt me, i stepped away from him and put my hands up to protect myself.

shawn choked back a sob and i slowly lowered my hands, my eyes still producing tears.

"shawn-"

"lena, i'm so sorry. o-oh my god..i'm so sorry," shawn mumbled, repeating himself as if it would get his point across quicker.

"how could you?" i whispered.

he covered his face with his hands and slouched down on the couch. i let out a shaky breath and ran to our room, closing the door behind me. i couldn't help but cry, wanting to let out all the frustration and sadness that i have been holding in for so long.

i got up and looked in the mirror. there was no bruise yet, but tears made wet, shiny trails down my skin.

"lena baby, please let me in," i heard shawn's voice croak from the other side of the door.

hesitantly, i stepped away from the mirror and went to the door. i unlocked and opened it, revealing shawn leaning against the wall.

"i don't know what got into me downstairs, i never meant to hurt you. i'm a-a monster. i can't believe myself, i let you down. please don't leave me, although i do deserve it, i can't lose you. i promised you i would never h-hit you and i did," shawn mumbled, his voice trembling.

"i'm not mad at you, shawn, i'm j-just scared of you," i unwillingly admitted, watching as hurt washed across his face.

"oh my god, your s-scared of me. i scared you. please don't leave me, give me another chance," shawn sobbed, making my heart break.

"i don't know, shawn. i just need a few days to think," i said quietly, avoiding his gaze.

"n-no please, i swear i didn't mean it," shawn stuttered.

"as much as i want to, i can't forgive you right now shawn," i said as he tried to reach for my hand. i pulled away.

"please," shawn mumbled, trying to stop me as i left our room and went downstairs and towards the door.

"i'm sorry," i said, turning to him once more before grabbing the keys and a sweater. his bloodshot eyes stared into mine, and i forced myself to step outside. sighing, tears rolled down my face, blurring my vision as i hurried down the pathway.

i wish this never happened, because i think i just lost one of the most important people in my life.

wc: 735

all works by me:
- shawn mendes imagines
- instagram |s.m|