shawn mendes imagines {under editing}

abuse

shawn mendes imagines
imagine xl
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jenna's pov

after weeks of shawn taking me out on adorable dates, and asking me to be his girlfriend twice, i've decided to tell him the real reason i kept saying no. it's not that i didn't like him, because i did and the thought of being with him made my heart flutter.

but in a past relationship, things didn't go so well.

i was with a guy named johnathon, and he was very abusive. after classes, he would go to the bar with friends. upon returning home, he would be drunk. the times he hit me and shoved me were countless, bruises being a common thing seen on me.

leaving him was a hard thing to do, as he was very controlling. if o did and he found out, it wouldn't end up well.

things ended a year and a half ago when i left him successfully.

i haven't been in a relationship since because i was afraid all guys would turn out like him. i know shawn is as innocent and gentle as a puppy, but i thought the same thing about johnathon.

and look where that got me.

i pulled out my phone and clicked on shawn's contact, still unsure if i was ready to tell him everything. i called him, pressing the phone against my ear.

"hey gorgeous," shawn said, his voice hoarse.

"hey," i replied, "i'm sorry, were you sleeping?"

"yeah but i just dozed, don't worry about it," he sighed on the other end, "anyway, what's up?"

"i was wondering if you could come over, i-i have to talk to you," i said, anxiously picking at my nail beds.

"of course, see you in ten, hunny," shawn said, the line falling dead.

that's one of the many things that i love about shawn, is the nicknames that he has for me. after about ten minutes of waiting, shawn arrived at my door with a warm smile playing on his lips.

"hey shawn," i say, stepping to the side so he could come in.

"hey," he smiled, hugging me, "you wanted to talk to me?"

i nodded, gesturing towards the living room where we both sat down on the couch.

"so, what's up?"

"i-i uh, i-" i was so nervous, i couldn't form words.

"jenna," shawn laughed, "take a breath, relax."

"i wanted to tell you the real reason i keep saying no to you, you know, when you ask me to be your girlfriend," i trailed on, nervously picking at my fingernails again.

shawn shifted in his seat before nodding slightly, "do you like, like me? if not, i understand."

"no, i mean yes," i hiccuped, "yes i do like you, i do." i watched relief to wash over shawn's face.

"before we started to hang out, uh, about a year and a half ago i was with a guy named jonathan," i said, letting out a trembling breath, "and basically, things didn't go that well. i haven't had a boyfriend since i left him, which took a while, because i'm afraid you may turn out l-like he did." i was like my mom in the sense that whenever i was nervous, i choked on my words.

shawn shook his head slightly an his eyebrows pulled together in confusion, "what happened before?"

i crossed my legs and looked down at my hands, biting my lip so i didn't burst into tears.