shawn mendes imagines {under editing}

believe in me {inspired}

shawn mendes imagines
imagine lxxxii
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hannah's pov
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inspired by: MENDESTASTIC

i remember the day perfectly.

shawn had come off stage from one of his world tour shows in a fit of coughs. he sat down on the small couch and andrew gave him water, but it didn't help anything. eventually, he coughed so hard that blood came up. terrified, we ushered him to the hospital where we received the worst news of our lives.

shawn had been diagnosed with throat cancer.

i remember crying, crying like i have never before. shawn too was crying, but not as much as i was. he pulled me close to him and told me everything would be alright. but the doctor had to enter and send us back into reality. he said the cancer had gone unnoticed for a long time, and it was now fatal. they could try treatments but they didn't suspect he would get any better.

now, six months later, he's laying limp in the hospital bed.

i wondered if he felt the iv's and tubes entering his body? i wondered if he felt the cancer slowly ripping his throat apart?

these last six months have been hell for shawn, the pain sending him to the edge multiple times. it hurt me to see him like this, it killed me actually. he wasn't going to finish his world tour, or release his third album. we wouldn't be able to start a family together, get married, and he wouldn't even be able to watch me graduate university.

his fans were all devastated by the news, and have made #prayforshawn and #weloveyoushawn trend on multiple occasions. the love and support we got from them was crazy, and i knew shawn didn't want to leave them, but some things he couldn't control.

his family sat around him, with his friends matt, ian and brian standing quietly against the wall. shawn's family and friends had a tight bond with me, especially matt. we worked together in the last six months, and even though it wasn't easy, we are still pulling through.

two days ago, shawn was in such pain he had to be hospitalized. he had woken me up saying it felt like his throat was being cut open by a knife, then he couldn't breathe. the doctor had then told us the cancer was beginning to move to his lungs, hence why he couldn't breathe.

i have been strong for his sake, only crying when i was alone or in the shower. he is scared enough, he doesn't need me crying too.

the doctor says it could be any day now, and that terrifies me.

my love could leave me any day, any minute, any second, and there was absolutely nothing that i could do about it. i sat next to him, holding his limp hand in mine. everyone was silent, not knowing exactly what to say.

"c-could i have a minute alone with him?" i asked, turning to face everyone.

"of course sweetheart," karen sniffled, kissing his forehead as everyone shuffled out of the room.

the door shut behind them and when i turned back to shawn, i was met with his sleepy brown eyes staring into mine.

"s-shawn," i whispered, grabbing his hand in mine as he slowly intertwined our fingers.

"hey baby," he whispered, his voice too hoarse to talk normally.

"i-i wanted some time alone with you," i said, struggling to keep my voice straight.