How to Deal with Anxiety ☹ a.f.i. • a.u.

6: "Envy isn't a simple emotion."

I force myself out of bed the next morning, partly because it's still dark outside, and partly because my brain is begging me to lay back down, to drown in sleep.

Hopefully this will be the biggest struggle of the day.

I rub my eyes, confused as to why there's an unusual lack of light for a May morning. Walking over to my window, I draw back the curtains a bit in order to view the street before me.

"Well, that explains it..." I whisper to myself softly, sighing a little.

Dark clouds have rolled in over night, and there's no doubt that rain and thunder is sure to follow soon enough.

I myself don't enjoy the rain. I dislike the feeling of having wet cold clothing stick to my skin and chill me to the bone. Still, I can't help but smile when I see the clouds overhead.

Kat loves the rain.

She loves nothing more than falling asleep to the sound of it, dancing in it, and stomping in its puddles. She sees the rain as a chance at new life, a chance for the world to cool off. Plus, she loves wearing oversized hoodies on days like today. I know just the one she can borrow.

I glance back at my bed to see her still sleeping soundly, and then at my clock to check the time. It's nearly quarter after six, we need to leave my house by eight to make sure Kat doesn't stress about being late. But, rarely am I late.

I decide to get her clothes laid out for her, just so she can sleep a little bit longer. She deserves that after yesterday. I grab a pair of her jeans from her stock pile, along with her underwear. The garments no longer affect me; I lay them by her jeans. When she first started staying over, my face would be as hot as fire every time I saw her bring any clothing over.

I pick out my old blue hoodie, smiling to myself because I know it's her favorite. It has fleece on the inside, guaranteeing warmth.

I see her stir a small bit out of the corner of my eye, so I turn to face her. I chuckle at her awkward sleeping position and just pause to take her in. Her hair's messy and over her eyes in some places. One leg is under my comforter the other on top of it, and both of her arms are under my pillow. I walk over to her, kiss her head, and play with her hair a bit to wake her up gently.

"Mmm..." she yawns, her eyes barely opening, "what time is it...?"

"About six twenty-five." I speak softly, standing up again, "Do you want to shower first? I can get your toast ready for you while you do so."

The offer makes her smile sleepily, and she nods, yawning again and stretching out before sitting up, her eyes falling on her pile of clothes, and then towards the window.

Her smile expands and that lovely tint returns to her face, a content sigh leaves her lips.

"Finally. I've been waiting for an excuse to wear your hoodie again." She giggles happily, standing up and giving me a warm hug.

I laugh softly too as she pulls back. She starts heading towards my bathroom before she turns back to look at me.

"Don't forget, I like having-"

"-two slices of toast, one of them with butter, one of them with Nutella." I finish, chuckling a little when she blushes, knowing she's said this to me before, "Please don't lose faith in my memory quite yet, my Kat."

She then heads to the bathroom with a towel. I walk to my dresser and grab a bottle of cologne, quickly spray my hoodie with some just so it smells like me, and place it back on top of the rest of her clothes.