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Kat
"Thank you for the ride, Calum. I owe you one." I sigh tiredly, this day having worn me out. Under usual circumstances, Friday is my favorite day of the week.
If it were any other Friday, I would be walking with Ashton to the Cliffside. If it were any other Friday, I wouldn't feel drained. If it were any other Friday, I would not feel insecure about my feelings.
If it were any other Friday, I would be sitting on my bed with Ashton, talking about life, death, the stages in between. His hand would find mine, we would laugh and sing off key. If it were any other Friday, we would be happy.
Nothing would have to change.
"Of course." Calum smiles over at me as he parks in my driveway, and I take a deep breath as I notice my sisters blue slug bug parked next to Calum's van.
I sit there for a moment, closing my eyes and willing myself to think better thoughts. I have missed my sister, what I haven't missed though, is my mother's comparisons of the two of us.
"Kat...it's been five minutes since we got here. Are you, um, alright...?" Calum speaks quietly.
I swallow nervously, nodding because that's all I can make myself do right now. Shaking slightly, I reach for the door.
"Thank you, again, Cal." I smile at him shyly, knowing I need some fresh air or I will lose myself to my anxiety.
"No problem, stay safe, okay?" He smiles warmly back at me, waving a little as I exit the vehicle with a nod.
I take another deep breath before I enter my home, and some of my anxiety melts away when I see my sister's smiling face.
"Kat! There you are!" Summer, with a voice as sweet as honey, stands and wraps her arms around me, in a much needed hug.
"Hey, Summer, " I whisper, smiling against her shoulder, "I've missed you."
"I've missed you too. Hey! We have to catch up, so much has happened this semester- Wait..." she pauses and her face falls slightly as she places a hand on my shoulder, "I know that face, what's the matter?"
"It's like you said: so much has happened..." I shrug a little, smiling weakly.
She furrows her brows, pouts her lips, and folds her arms across her chest, a gesture that she always used to do when she was home all the time. She knows me so much better than I give her credit for, I'm just ashamed to talk to her within these walls.
"Hey, mom?" My big sister calls to the next room where my mother must be doing laundry, "Kat and I are going to go for a walk and catch up." She then nods at me knowingly, and I smile gratefully.
Before Ashton, before I understood that my mind was poisoning me, before she left for college, Summer was my rock. I often feel a sharp pang in my heart when I think about how she's not around all the time.
