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I want to be angry. I want to be jealous. I want to be disheartened. I want to let her know how fucking worried I had been and what I've been thinking about the past few hours of my life. I want to tell her to never pull a stunt like that again. I want to tell her I love her even though she sometimes puts me through emotional hell.
I end up doing none of the above.
She is visibly upset by something as she walks out of Michael's massive house and toward my truck. She walks briskly, and doesn't look back towards the house once. I swallow hard, my thoughts aimed in the direction of the worst possible scenario, like always.
If Luke hurt her, he's a fucking dead man.
"Hey..." she clears her throat as she sits down beside me, "Are you still staying over tonight?"
"Of course, but only if that's what you want." I nod, glancing at her with a soft sigh, shifting my truck after a moment's pause.
"Ash," she says after a few minutes of driving, "I'm really sorry. I-I forgot to tell you where I was. I didn't mean to worry you." Her voice gets smaller and smaller as she bites on her ever-swollen bottom lip.
"Please don't worry about it, Kat. Everyone forgets now and then." I shrug, not mentioning the fact that I was pacing my room an hour prior to this, thinking, worrying, about her, "But, please tell me what's really going on. Something happened back there, I can tell."
"It's nothing, Ashton. I'm just..." she pauses, closing her eyes and looking away from me, hesitating before she finishes, "really tired."
"Kat." I huff, biting my lip, feeling my anger start to raise again, "Please, I just need to know that you're okay."
"I am. Know that. I'll... I'll explain when we get to my house, okay?" She sighs again and looks back out the window, as if searching for an answer in the stars above.
Accepting defeat, I mutter a barely audible agreement before merging onto the main road. The ride home was silent, which allows my mind to open up to all the scenarios that could have happened to my best friend. I start making myself sick with all possible answers. I somehow manage to ignore the thoughts for the short remainder of the ride to her place.
I park in her driveway and exit my truck. I walk to her side of the car, and open the door, patiently. She doesn't move.
"Kat...you're gazing off at nothing...it's worrying me..." I speak softly, offering a hand to her, not having seen her dissociate like this for a long time.
"Oh, I'm, um, sorry, Ash." Her voice is small, but not broken, as she stands, accepts my hand and closes the door behind her, finally looking up at me, "There's just...so much happening all at once, you know?"
It takes a moment for me to register how close in proximity she is to me. It would be so effortless to press my lips against hers for just one moment, hold her close and help her forget all of our problems.
