Redemption | A Drake Duology (2016)

16 • For the Road

I locked myself in Sydney's bathroom trying to make sense of everything that was happening. My head was pounding and my vision was blurry making it hard for me to maneuver around properly. I slid back into my briefs and stood over the sink splashing water on my face. My body felt overheated and I couldn't figure out how to calm myself down—anxiety at it's finest.

I plopped down on the tiled floor and held my face in my hands. It hadn't even been a full twenty-four and I was barely making it without Roman. She wasn't answering mine or Bleu's calls, she wouldn't text me back, I even had Rocko ride over to her place—nothing. She'd completely shut me out and I couldn't say that I didn't deserve it.

Tears flooded my face once again. I had it all planned out; Once I left Sydney alone, things would fall back into place. I didn't expect it to happen immediately but I sure as hell didn't expect it to fall apart as quickly as it did either.

"This is done. I've had enough," I kept repeating that sentence in my head. Usually I brushed her words off but the look in her eyes was genuine. She was really done. I thought about staying. I thought about falling to my knees and begging her for one last chance but I couldn't. Not because I didn't want to but because I've used enough chances. I've fucked up enough and keeping her in this situation would only tear her down more than I already have. She deserved some type of happiness and I knew that right now I couldn't give her any.

Once again, I used Sydney as a distraction. Nothing but temporarily satisfying sex and good conversation came out of this relationship. I hadn't touched her in this manner since that night after the strip club. I vowed to never touch her again and somehow, tonight, my body deceived me.

Karma came back to bite me in the ass. It was some of the worst sex I've ever had. I figured it was because my emotional attachment to her had completely dissipated within the last couple of weeks. Nothing about her turned me on like she used to. I laid bored for forty-five minutes waiting for her to reach an orgasm. Missionary was the only position I had the energy for and I wasn't even on top.

I needed to feel like I was still a man and I thought coming here would do that for me. It didn't. I still felt shitty, I still felt guilty—even more now that I slept with her without thinking about any of the consequences. I sighed and pulled myself up from the floor. I washed my face again and exited the bathroom.

Sydney was fully clothed sitting on the bed. She tossed me a rolled blunt and stood up. "Get dressed, let's take a walk,"

I quickly threw on my clothes and followed her out. We started in the back yard and walked wherever the path took us. Stars lined the dark skies and the sounds of crickets chirping filled the air.

"What happened to your girlfriend?" She asked taking a pull of the blunt.

"Nothing,"

She rolled her eyes looking over at me as she walked through the high grass. "You act like I don't know you. Something happened. You seemed so serious about leaving me alone. I haven't heard from you since and suddenly you show up at my door wanting sex," She took another pull. "Which was awful by the way and we're never doing that again," She laughed.

"It was pretty bad," I chuckled taking a pull myself. I looked down at the ground as we walked.

"So, you gonna' tell me or?"

I shrugged. "She's leaving me," My response was really vague but there was no other way to put it.

"Didn't expect that," She raised a brow. "Thought it would be the other way around. You never let anybody keep you,"