Redemption | A Drake Duology (2016)

F & D • 0 • Preface

FIRE & DESIRE

       Still, I lay. My painted face bonded to a pillow drenched with seven hundred and thirty nights of tears that refused to stop falling. The once perfect coat of mascara dripped down my cheeks adding decoration to the worn pillow case. I didn't move. This was my favorite spot. Much favored because it held your scent.

I imaged you here, holding me close, kissing away the pain that you caused—lips soft like freshly woven cotton. I gasped feeling the bed of your fingertips adhere to my torso but this wasn't the heavenly touch that I remembered. These hands weren't as soft and didn't hold the possessiveness that I was used to. I panicked. My eyes fluttered open to a strange face. A face that I'd only come to see two days out of the week.

He shuffled in his sleep groaning out a worried "You okay?" and my only response was a lie. "Mhm," I hummed but I wasn't okay. I was in bed with the man of my dreams yet my heart rested on the opposite side of the world. He treated me like a queen but he wasn't my man, he was my hobby—a sleek caramel covered hobby that carried a weight heavier than mine. He was everything I needed but I didn't love him. I never could and he understood that.

I exhaled as he pulled me closer burying his face in the crook of my neck. I was finally happy but I hadn't stopped feeling incomplete since I left your side. It took 1, 051, 200 lonely minutes to accept the fact that you were no good for me but that didn't stop my body from yearning for your touch. Loving you was an addiction with side effects that deteriorated my physique from the inside out. It took some time to cleanse myself of your toxins but it wasn't long before my veins throbbed for an injection. Physically, I denied my urge. Mentally, I became victim to the high.

As dangerous as it was, you were my drug and I was prepared to overdose...