Redemption | A Drake Duology (2016)

F & D • 23 • Epilogue

Roman

        My conscience was wide awake while I wasn't. Physically my body was exhausted and I couldn't feel a thing from the waist down. My eyes parted partially as my ears picked up on a familiar lullaby. I smiled a bit remembering how she used to sing it to Logan and I whenever we fell ill and how peaceful she looked when we sang it to her the day that she passed. It was almost like she was here. The notes were perfect, pitch was steady, it was melodic.

I looked up to see my mother. Her song was now a faint hum as she dabbed my forehead with a wet rag and stroked my hair with her free hand. My gaze then traveled down to my belly but nothing was there except a small pudge. I remembered delivering Austin but not Aubree.

"Are my babies okay?" I husked clearing my throat and sitting up on my elbow.

"They are perfect," She said adjusting my position so that I laid back down. "Healthy. Both 6 pounds, 5 oz."

I let out a sigh of relief though I was slightly saddened that I couldn't recall the birth of my baby girl. I wanted to meet her, hold her, kiss her. I wanted to know who she looked like, how different her personality was from her brothers. I missed the first opportunity to do that. It hurt. My mother pulled up a chair and sat where she'd been standing. She still stroked my hair.

"Your husband," She started. "He has wowed me. He kept the doctors from drugging you up. He made sure that they gave you everything that you could tolerate," She smiled. "And he refused to cut the umbilical cords. Both were lotus and he's done an amazing job keeping up with them,"

I couldn't help but smile. I knew how bad he wanted to do things the traditional way and he had every opportunity to do so but he respected my wishes. I wanted everything to be as natural as it could be. I never asked for a lotus birth, though. That was all him. I was shocked yet proud of the decisions he was making to keep us and our babies safe.

Three years later, I still found myself thinking of that day. Postpartum depression was real. It took a long time for me to accept the fact that I could not control what happened to me. I was so disappointed in my decisions that I could live normally. I distanced myself from my children, almost feeling disgusted whenever I held them and it didn't help that Mekhi wasn't happy to be a big brother.

This put a lot stress and pressure on Aubrey but patience got him through. Mehki warmed up to them first and with a lot of late night talks, family days and a bit of counseling, so did I. I couldn't take my eyes off of them. I wanted them near me all of the time. Whenever I was away, I kept pictures with me so that when things got hard, I had some motivation.

They weren't the typical toddlers. They were quite intelligent and curious. Aubree took a lot of interest in her father's career while Austin took interest in mine. From time to time, we'd let them tag along, the fans got a kick out of seeing them since we usually kept them away from the press. Mekhi on the other hand loved the cameras. He loved to talk to people and brag about how he was the best big brother anyone could have.

I chuckled to myself tracing the outline of the family portrait tattooed on Aubrey's back. The newest editions of our family took up a lot of the empty spaces.

"I miss them," I said.

"I do too," He turned over pulling me into his side. "Although it's nice to have a bit of quiet time. We haven't been this close to each other in a while,"

I thought about how busy this last year had been. We had to learn how to parent and balance time consuming careers. It only got difficult when Mehki started school. We thought about homeschooling him so that he could travel with us but Aubrey preferred that he socialize and get some sort of understanding of life outside of the entertainment world. Plus, being home still allowed him some time with Ellis. We altered our schedules to accommodate his educational needs and made it work. Unfortunately, that meant we wouldn't see each other much. I hadn't kissed him in months. I didn't realize how much things would change once we got settled.