Redemption | A Drake Duology (2016)

F & D • 3 • Losing Time

Roman

     I gripped the toilet seat in both hands gagging as my breakfast exited freely into the standing water. The bathroom reeked of vomit. I'd been in here for nearly an hour. I groaned forcing a glass of water down my throat to stay hydrated or else I was going to be planted to this bathroom floor all day.

I wiped my mouth and stood up straight flushing the waste away then walked over the sink and washed away the remnants of my sickness before looking myself over in the mirror. My hair was a mess, my eyes were red and I felt weak. I was ready for the month of October to end. Because so many of the important milestones in Aubrey and I's relationship happened this month, it was the hardest.

The last two weeks were the worst. His birthday, our anniversary—everything was overwhelming and my dreams of him were no longer dreams. They were nightmares and in every one, something bad happened to him. I figured that it was my guilty conscience causing the nightmares since I felt extremely bad about not having any contact with him but whatever it was, forced me to wake up in a fit of anxiety and struggling to keep anything down. This was probably a sign that I needed to reach out to him but I wasn't ready to do that, especially after seeing him out with numerous women. It still made me feel a way and it was honestly the main reason why I began testing the waters with Ellis.

I sighed hitting the light and exiting the bathroom. Today was Sandi and I's monthly check-in. I grabbed my phone dialing her number waiting for her to answer.

"Good morning my favorite lady," She smiled into the line. "I'm surprised that you're up at this hour,"

"Me too," I chuckled. "How are you?"

"I'm good," She said warmly. "I've just been cleaning up around the house a bit. How are Ellis and Mekhi?"

"You've just completely written me off, huh?" I joked. "They get asked about before me,"

"I'm sorry," She giggled. "Mekhi is just so cute. Are you all coming for Thanksgiving dinner again?"

"Wouldn't miss it," I smiled into the line. "Ellis has been hinting around about meeting my family,"

I was very thankful that Ellis only met Sandi. Our trip to Toronto was very unexpected but I couldn't disappoint her, especially after she got word of me 'dating' someone. She was excited and I knew that she didn't want to spend Thanksgiving alone so they tagged along with me. Aubrey was on tour so he couldn't make it. He showed up only an hour after I left. Close call.

"I can't blame him. Are you finally taking things seriously?" Sandi asked.

"I'm trying,"

"But?" She quizzed.

I swallowed hard. Sandi could read me like a book even when I wasn't in front of her. She knew that I still wanted to be with her son. She also knew what he was was feeling for me but just like me, she wouldn't share that information. I had to be very careful with my words. After all, she is his mother.

"Aubrey,"

Saying his name made me cringe. I expected to be over him but every time I came across a picture or a song, I was reminded of everything we were going through. I honestly planned to return home sooner, then rumors began circling. He was in and out of different relationships, fucking anything with a pair of legs and a vagina—he was all over the place. He was usually good with keeping his personal life out of the media but recently, he hadn't seemed to care. I couldn't handle slipping back into that lifestyle and I couldn't handle another Sydney.