Astoria Must End

Dearly Departed

Josh p.o.v

After Alex went in, I was left standing there in the rain. I tried to figure out what she said her number was. Why though? Did I really want her number? What was I getting myself into? I wasn't ready for a relationship, why was I even thinking of one? I thought more about it when me and Bennie were walking home. Maybe it would be best if I didn't get her number. I'd never have to see her again and I could forget that I even thought I was ready. When I got inside I saw everyone sitting there talking. I shut the door and everyone looked. It was only Matt, Mike, and Ian.
"Where'd everyone else go?" I asked as I unhooked Bennie's leash.
"Home" Mike stated as he took a sip from his beer bottle. Everyone turned back to each other. I was confused as to why they were being so quiet.
"Did you guys get anything recorded?" I asked as I started to walk to my room to get changed out of the wet clothes.
"Some stuff. Not much" Matt said. What was with the small talk? I shrugged it off and went to get changed. When I came back everyone was gone. Weird. I looked at everything they recorded and saw that there's was only two songs left to be recorded. Astoria, and Dearly Departed. I kept putting that one off to record last because it was a song I couldn't handle. It was too hard. I looked over the lyric sheet again repeating the words.
"Every masterpiece I'd write again, you'll always be my Porcelain. I crossed my heart but I stuttered too, so truth or dare, was I good to you? Haven't had enough of you all to myself, still right beside you in sickness and health. Forever after you will be my home. And there's no place like, home." I repeated, feeling tears prickle my eyes. "We never sent the cards, they're all still on the table. I wanna throw them out but I'm just not able." I continued. I set down the music sheet and walked over to the kitchen table. There they were. Our wedding invitations. They were still there even after all these months. Everyone knew. Everyone knew I still missed and loved her. "No Josh, you don't love her." I kept telling myself. Maybe I did mis her but, I didn't wanna still love her too. It was hard to walk away and let go. I went back in to sit on the couch and Bennie jumped up and laid next to me. She saw me begin to cry so she sat in my lap.
"My dearly departed" I repeated from the song. Thats what the song was called. Dearly Departed. It was the reason why I wasn't ready for another relationship. Because I wasn't over my last one.