When The Doctor Was Me (Frerard Doctor Who AU)

Heros On The Drums

The Doctor sighed as he looked around the empty room. He already missed the kids he had just dropped off to Lindsey, who had graciously taken them in. Her small daughter seemed quite excited for the new arrivals as well, already talking Melanie's leg off about her teddy bear.

That had only been hours ago, but the Doctor was getting a feeling on loneliness building in his chest. Frank had disappeared onboard soon after dropping the children off. The Doctor assumed he was in his room, so that's where he went to check.

He hurried down the tardis hall, careful to not trip as he sometimes did when no one was around. When he got to Frank's room, he took a moment to catch his breath before knocking on the door.

"Doctor?" Frank's voice carried through the door, making the Doctor smile.

"Yes, Frankie. Who else would it be?" The Doctor laughed, "May I come in?"

"Sure..."

The Doctor pushed the door open with a smile that quickly fell from his face. Frank was sitting with his legs criss crossed on his bed.

Frank looked up at the Doctor with puffed eyes and teary cheeks, yet he had a small smile on his face. "Hi, Doctor..." He continued to smile up at the time lord.

"What's wrong?" The Doctor questioned, tilting his head at Frank as he walked into the room and sat down on the edge of his bed, "Your smile, it's a sad smile. Look at your eyes, there's tears, yet you're still smiling." The Doctor reached out and swiped some tears from Frank's cheek with his thumb, "It's a smile, but you're sad. It's confusing. It's two emotions at once. It's like you're malfunctioning."

Frank sniffled and shook his head. "It's that sadness that comes from happy memories." He replied, "From those moments you cant relive, but you enjoyed every second of it when it happened. The ones you can't take back, but are extremely glad for their happening..."

The Doctor looked over Frank's face as more tears fell to meet at the still raised corners of his mouth. He could understand what Frank meant. There were times he remembered brilliant things he had done with brilliant people, but now they were simply gone...

"What memories make your emotions twist in confusion?" The Doctor asked as Frank sniffled and wiped tears from his eyes.

Frank laughed, quietly, before he spoke. "My grandfather. My hero who gave me passion for music and raised me to be a good man, at least I hope..."

"You are a good man." The Doctor assured him, "Don't ever let anyone make you think otherwise. You're absolutely fantastic, Frankie." He smiled as Frank wiped away some more of his tears.

"Thank you, Doctor..." Frank smiled at him before looking down. "I just miss him... It... My phone is still set on the time when we left." He explained, quietly, pointing to the small piece of technology next to him. "My timeline... And... It's the anniversary of when we lost him..."

"Oh, Frankie, I'm so sorry." The Doctor frowned. He could see Frank's eyes filling with fresh tears, which prompted the Doctor to reach out and pull Frank into a hug. Frank accepted the embrace graciously, hiding his face in the Doctor's shoulder as he let his tears flow silently.

The Doctor allowed Frank all the time he needed to let his emotions out on his shoulder. Everyone needs to take time for grief. It was perfectly alright to be sad sometimes. It could be worse to hold it in and allow it to bottle up.

After a period of time, Frank sat up with a sniffle. He smiled at the Doctor with more affection than the Doctor had yet seen from him.

"I'm sorry." He spoke softly, "I usually don't really break down that much... I just saw nightmares in that forest..."