A few minutes, or what felt like hours past after Josh twitched. I felt Josh squeeze me and I sat up quickly. His big brown eyes were opened, more like squinted because of the bright lights in his room. "You're awake." I said as warm tears dripped down my cheek. He nodded and grabbed onto me, pulling me in. I leaned down as he cupped my face, I wanted to live in this moment forever. I felt his thumb wiping at my tears and I felt like a child in need of his mom. "I will never leave you Tyler." Josh said it as he pulled me in for a kiss, a soft yet passionate one. "I promise." I pulled him tighter into me, I couldn't get close enough to him. My breathing hitched as we kissed, I felt tears drip slightly down my cheeks. I pulled away from Josh, remembering what happened. I stood up and glared at him, he looked up with innocent eyes. My words were jumbled on my tongue, I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out except a silent sob and a quick breath. I stood there just staring at Josh, I couldn't move. I felt glued to the ground as I eyed Josh. I admired him with warm tears streaming down, he scared me so badly. "Tyler?" He said snapping me out of my thoughts, I focused on his lips. "Yeah. Sorry." Was all I could get out. I licked my chapped lips and wiped my puffy eyes as I sat back down grabbing Josh's hand. "I can't believe you did that." My heart felt so heavy as I spoke. "Josh, you were gone. Seeing you like that," I looked at his bandaged wrist. "It scared me, I felt so much pain. I felt my heart shatter inside my own chest, I choked on my own words trying to speak. "Josh, they're putting you in a ward for awhile with no visitation. You idiot." I hollered at him this time, I felt anger build up and flow into my cheeks. They burned a bright red and my jaw clenched causing a growl to slip out. I felt so sick, I felt like I was going to lose it right there. In front of Josh and his monitors, his stupid monitors that he got stuck with. "Tyler." His voice was so gentle, sending a chill down my spine. I was furious with Josh, I couldn't look him in the eyes without feeling guilt though. I caused this to happen. "I did this to you." I breathed out in between my anger, I tugged at my hair and hit the wall. My knuckles bled as soon as they made contact with the wall. I flinched as I washed the blood off my now bruised knuckle. Great. "This is not your fault." I heard Josh say quietly, I slightly turned to face him. Not looking into his bloodshot eyes. He held his arm out to me, and I walked over. Keeping my eyes hidden under my lashes. He reached out for my bruised hand and I flinched at his touch. "It's okay." Josh whispered so calmly, making me calm down. My breathing steadied and I looked into his eyes. His bloodshot eyes. "I did this." Was all I could get out at that moment. I felt so pressured to say the right things but I didn't know what the right things were. My heart pounded through my chest, I felt my blood rushing through my veins and my head get light. My once steadied feet were wobbly and I was falling backwards. "Tyler!" Was the last thing I heard before darkness overpowered me, taking me back. Back to everything that I've ever done, flashing memories of mistakes I've made. I felt so heavy as I stood there in the darkness. My eyes fluttered behind my eyelids, surprising me.
