Living with the Jamisons (In Editing)

Insercurities

Oh, you know, you know, you know,    

 I'd never ask you to change

If perfect's what you're searching for then just stay the same

So, don't even bother asking if you look ok

You know I'll say

When I see your face, there's not a thing that I would change

Cause you're amazing, just the way you are

And when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for a while

Because girl you're amazing, just the way you are

The way you are, the way you are
Just The Way You Are by Bruno Mars

JESSE'S POV

I went back up and sat on the edge of her bed. She came over, once she was done, grinning. "Good boy," she cooed patting my head lovingly. I scowled and pushed her hand way. "Now let's go eat," she said unfazed by my glare. I huffed and followed, as she strutted through the door. When we walked back in the guys looked at my annoyed expression and Taylor's happy one. "Looks like the tables have been turned,” Tristan said with a grin. I rolled my eyes and sat down on a chair. Taylor went to the oven, which I just realize was on, and pulled out a pie, turning it off. She took out 11 plates and placed a piece of pies and salad on each. "Dinners ready," she called. Soon we were all surrounding the table with our meals. Dinner was the usual bickering, teasing, storytelling and so on. Mum and dad said to us that themselves, Wes and Carter would wash up, so the rest of us went to go watch a movie. I sat on one of the couches with Tay's head in my lap and her feet on Steven's. It was amazing how they have become friends. You would never have guessed it when she first got here, Steven wasn't the best welcoming party. But now they treat each other like family, we all do. I ran my fingers through Taylor's hair and she smiled up at me, kissing my stomach before settling back in my lap. Tristan put on 'The Green Lantern' and settles next to the others around the lounge. By the time we were ten minutes into the movie, I felt Taylor's breathing even out. I watched as she smiled lightly in her sleep, her facial features relaxed. I loved this girl with everything I had and that was never going to change. 

TAYLOR'S POV

I woke up the next morning in my bed, with a start. Memories flashed through my mind like my dream last night. I saw his face towering over me as his foot came in contact with my ribs with a deafening crack. Then the picture changed. Now Adam laid on top of me, lust written all over his face as he ignored my struggles. I looked over at the clock and groaned quietly as it read 5:32 am. I snuggled into Jesse, who in return, tightened his grip around my waist. My nerves grew as I thought about what I'm going to do today. I lay still, not wanting to wake Jesse up; I got out of bed and went for a shower to calm my nerves. I stood under the shower for ten minutes, or until I thought my nerves had calmed down. I jumped out of the shower and slowly got dressed in a cute pink floral dress that was a little short, but should be fine. I went to my dresser and pulled out my make-up. I put on some foundation, neutral eye shadow, a little eyeliner, mascara, lip gloss and some blush. It was more makeup then I usually wear but it was special occasion and I also need something to keep me busy. Once I was happy with my make-up I moved onto my hair. I curled it slightly so it fell in soft, silky curls down my back. I put on a white lace head band hippie style but took thin pieces, wrapping them over the band and tucking it under, so it formed an elegant twist around my head. I stood up and did a twirl to make sure everything fell right. "You look beautiful, my love," a sleepy voice said behind me. I turned to see Jesse, propped up on his elbow, smiling sleepily. I walked over to him as he stood up. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me to him. He placed feather kisses on my forehead, then my cheeks, then my nose, then each corner of my mouth teasingly. I frowned and pulled his mouth to mine. I felt his lips smile against mine as he took control of the kiss. I forgot everything. I dint think about what happened at the party, or what was going to happen today. My whole mind and passion was in the kiss. I concentrated solely on how his tongue explored my mouth and mine his. But, too soon, he pulled away, us both gasping for breath. I looked into his eyes and he looked back. It felt like I was exposed, like he could see every feeling and experience I have ever had. I love him dearly, but this terrified me. What if he found out what I really went through and he decided he didn't want what he saw. I looked down with tears in my eyes. It was like I had plummeted from my cloud and realise what our relationship was and how much Jesse meant to me. We were together and loved each other fully, but I would never be enough. This isn't like with Carlo, where I thought I wasn't popular enough, this is very different. "Hey, hey, hey," Jesse said gently, as he guided my chin up, "Don't cry." But of course that made the tears flow over. "Shh..." he murmured and pulled my head to his chest. He sat down so my legs we around his torso. I listened to the heart beat of the guy I loved to calm myself down. He rubbed my back and whispered soothingly in my ear until my raggered breathing settled down. Once this happened, he pulled back slightly to look at my face. He kept on arm around my lower back as he used his other thumb softly wiped my tears way. When he realized that the tears weren't stopping g he viper my cheek and looked at me with soft eyes, "What cause that, honey?” I shrugged and lent my head forward so my hair formed a curtain around my face. I saw him give me a confused look in the corner of my eye before he guided my head back up. "You're not going to shrug this off. Please tell what happened," he pleaded. I looked into his eyes thinking of the best way to explain this. "I love you," I whispered. “I love you too," he said confused, as he cupped my face with both hands. "That's the problem," I murmured just loud enough for him to hear. "What?" he breathed, hurt seeping into his voice. “You shouldn't love me," I said shaking my head. “Why not?" he asked, bewildered. “Because I'm not good enough," I said softly and his jaw clenched as I continued. "Because I'm damaged goods. I've been beaten by my own father and raped by someone I thought was my friend. Because you are such a pure, sweet and loving guy and you don't deserve someone's dirty and used seconds." As Jesse sat there in shock, I got off his lap and quickly made my way down stairs. I heard everyone down there so I wiped under my eye so make sure no black was there and walked in, looking down. Keeping my head down I walked to the kitchen to get some breakfast. "Hey Tay, you ready to...." Tristan trailed off as they all turned to look at me. I turned towards the cupboard so my face was out of sight. I heard chair scrap as they moved along the floor. I then felt a pair of arms wrap around my waist, turning me around. I looked up into James' searching gaze. We stood there for a few minutes with the guys’ curious stares looking on. James sighed angrily before he kissed my forehead saying, "We'll sought him out." They all stormed out and I tried calling them back but they all ignored me. I sighed as I continued to get my breakfast. I heard three footsteps enter the kitchen and saw John and Jenny with Wes trailing behind. Once Wes' eyes met mine he shoved between them and ran into my arms. I picked him up and swang him around as he erupted into giggles. "Good morning," I said. "Morning," Jenny and John said laughing, as they helped themselves to breakfast. I place Wes on the table and he grinned. "What would you like for breakfast?" "Ice-cream!" he screamed and I laughed. “Try something else," I suggested and he pouted, "What about coco pops?" he nodded so I bent down to get the bowl. I placed it on the table and was about to turn to get the milk and cereal when I felt someone lift me up from behind and fling me over their shoulder. "Hey mum," I heard Steven's voice come from under me, "can you finish Wes' breakfast because we need to steal Tay for a bit." I heard, rather than saw as my face was in Steven's back, Jenny laugh as she agreed. Steven started to walk and I scream for him to let me go, hitting his back. "I'm not letting you go," Steven cheered and I could hear the grin in his voice. I huffed, stopped hitting him, and folded my arms as I bounced with each step he took. We walked up the stairs and into someone's room. "Where are we goin..."I started but stopped when he threw me on the bed, knocking my breath from my cheat. I took deep breaths and glared at Steven who grinned smugly."That’s for hitting me," he grinned. I grabbed a pillow from the bed and threw it, hitting him square in the face. "That's for man handling me," I pick up another and threw it having the same effect, "And that's for throwing me." the room erupted into laughter and it was only then that I took in my surroundings. All the older brothers, from Tristan and Dylan up, stood around the room. I sad eyes locked with Jesse's. Tears formed in mine as I realized I could never be enough. The laughter suddenly stopped as I stood up and said, "I have to go.” In a flash, Steven closed the door and was standing in front of it. I felt someone come up behind me and gab my wrist, pulling it so I turned around. Jesse was standing there with pleading eyes. "You have to talk to me about this," he whispered as he pulled me back to the bed. I tucked my feet under me and looked down at my hands. "There is nothing to talk about," I mumbled looking and his brothers uncomfortably. James sighed and walked over. He sat down with his legs on either side of me, wrapping his arms around my waist, "He told us what you said when we came up to kill him.” I whimpered and buried my hands in my hair, so no one could see me. "Taylor, please don't hide from us," James pleaded. I shook my head, keeping my eyes locker on my lap. I heard someone sigh sadly before I felt arms dragging foreword away from James. I was soon enveloped into the smell of Jesse as he pulled me into a tight embrace. "Honey, what happened to you was not your fault," he soothed. I pushed him away and quickly stood up, backing up to a spot where none of the Jamison's occupied. "But that doesn't mean it didn't happen,” I cried, "I may act like I'm over it but it is eating me way. You deserve better than this, Jesse. You all do. I'm nothing but a piece of gum everyone's stepped on, and you shouldn't have that. You guys are the kindest people I've met and you don't deserve spoilt goods." I breathed in heavily as I slipped down the wall. It felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. They knew what I was feeling, and I never knew it would have such an effect on me. I looked around at their shocked but most of all pained expressions. I had been too harsh, I shouldn't have said anything. We stayed quiet for 5 minutes as they wrapped their head around my outburst. I had calmed down as I whispered, "I sorry, I overreacted. I guess the nerves, the dreams, everything just caught up to me. I shouldn't have yelled at you." I hung my head in shame. I felt someone slowly walk over to me and sit in front of me. "What dreams?" Jesse's asked, stroking my hair. I shrugged, "Just bad memories," I whispered my voice cracking. Jesse pulled me to him and I willingly took in his comfort. I felt someone grab me by the waist and pulled my back to them once I had calmed down. "Don't be ashamed. Everything that has happened wasn't planned and I know any of us would give anything if we could change what happened to you. Please don't block us out. You are perfect and defiantly not spoilt goods. We all love you for you, and no matter what has happened or will happen that will not change." I looked up and him and whispered, "Thank you," before stretching up and kissing his cheek. I turned back to Jesse and he cupped my face as if I was as delicate as a snow flake. "You are completely wrong. You are the funniest, smartest, most beautiful girl I have ever met and that is why I love you. You may have gone through some tough sh*t but that has only made you come out stronger." I leaned forward and kissed him lovely on the lips. We got lost in the kiss and wolf whistles broke us out of our private moment. I blushed when I realized everyone was grinning at, what turns out to be our not very private moment. Jesse tipped my heads I was looking back at him. "You can talk and come to me whenever you want. We'll get through this together," he said as he intertwined our hands. “Okay," Tristan exclaimed as he clapped his hands together, "Now our lovey dovey moment is over, are you ready to knock the house down?" I froze in realisation before Jesse squeezed my hand encouragingly. I smiled weakly," Yes?" I said but it came out sounding like a question which made them all laugh at my attempt. "Yes," they all said unison.

*************************************************************************

UNEDITED

Hey guys (say shyly) My bad for not uploading, you know with Christmas and all :s

just letting you guys know that this is most likely the second last chapter:D

I hope you like this and ill upload ASAP:D Happy New Years xx