Blue Neighbourhood

n i n e t e e n

Louie Young: A Memoir

Dear my son, Adam,

You probably already heard the news that I am in fact, dead.

I had two options.

One, being where I had a 13.7% chance of living if  I had a certain surgery.

Two, where I could just spend the remainder hours of my life writing this letter.

I picked two.

I already put you through hell giving you a crap life and I couldn't make you live with the fact that I was either going to die or live. See, now son it's simple.

I'm dead.

And the suffering is over.

Problem solved.

Now son I have to apologize. By all means, you don't ever have to forgive me, but I hope that you do.

I'm sorry I wasn't a good father to you when your mum passed. We all just have different ways to grieve death. And your mothers struck me like lightning.

I'm sorry that I lost my temper on your little friend ten years ago. I just don't like you touching boys in that type of way. Because there is no way in hell that I'm going to raise a fag. I realize after we moved you didn't have any friends. That's another reason why you hate me. And I'm sorry.

Now, here's the part where I make it up to you.

I want you son, to go live the life you want.

But just don't end up like me. Dead at age 44 cause was drunk while driving.

I don't want that from you.

I just want you to be happy.

And if that means that you dating that boy Troye, then so be it.

I'm sorry I'm only now realizing this when I'm dead, but better late than ever.

You go out there Adam and you fall in love with anyone you want wether it's a boy or not.

Wether it's even Troye or not.

You go love someone and you treat them right.

And when you have kids you love them more than you love yourself. And you never let them go until the day you die.

I was only apart of your life Adam for 22 years and I never even said a proper goodbye.

Well, this is me saying goodbye.

I wish I could hug and kiss you right now for the times I never did. But, when you find someone you love and when you have kids, I want you to hug and kiss them every time you get. You never know when the last you'll have with anybody.

You didn't even know when was the last time you were going to see me, and now I'm gone.

Learn from this Son.

I love you.

Your father,

    Louie Young.