Everyday Thoughts. Collection of writings and poems.

What I wish I could say.

There's some explicit language in this one, so please be aware of that as you read.

"Honestly that's what annoys me about you. You never stand up for yourself, you always let people treat you like shit."

How do I respond? "Yeah, yeah, I know. Sorry, I'm working on it. I can't change in one night."

What I want to say? Why do you care. Why do you fucking care. You treat me just like everyone else does! If you wished I was different in that way, help me instead of getting mad at me. If you hate my personally so much, leave. Just fucking leave if you can't handle how I am. I don't want to change, because I'm fine how I am. You want me to stand up for myself? Okay. I can do that. But you also get mad at me for "Not knowing when enough is enough. You don't know when to stop." Well fuck, what do you want from me? I can only do so much! You told me I didn't know when to stop, so now I stopped caring what people say. They can say what they want, and I will take it. But oh, that's not good enough for you? Now you say I can't stand up for myself? Why am
I not good enough for you? What do you want from me? Getting angry every goddamn time I try and confide in you.. I'll always say " I'm good" when you ask. Because obviously you don't care. If you did, you'd help me, instead of bitching. So please, just stop. Stop being an asshole.

But, instead of saying what I want, I'll just say "yeah, yeah, I know. Sorry, I'm working on it. I can't change in one night."