The Next Step:Jiley's story

Hope?

I can't do this anymore, how can such an innocent, tiny baby be so badly damaged? "Where are the others?" I ask a doctor who's in the room with us, "They're in the baby unit of the hospital, they aren't to badly damaged, however we are unaware of how long Annie will be in hospital, or if she's ever even going to leave," those few words broke me. How can my tiny baby be in so much danger?

After an hour of just staring at Annie, I finally  pull myself together and stand up, James is already with the other five but I couldn't bare leaving Annie, I make my way over to one of the nurses and ask them if they know anything about how the fire started "All I know is that the two responsible adults in the house didn't start it," a huge weight gets lifted off my shoulders, I don't know if I ever would have been able to forgive West or Eldon if they had been the fire starters. I nod at the nurse and then go into the room that I know Eldon is in, I had heard that he was badly burnt trying to get the babies away from the flames but West managed to escape with only a few burns, what I walked into see was not what I expected. Michelle was there pacing up and down the room whilst Eldon was lay therein a self-induced coma. "Ermmmm, how's he doing?" I ask Michelle, confused as to why she's here, they broke up years ago. "I still love him, and I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive myself if he slips away without me ever being able to tell him," she tells me. I don't know how to respond, I can't tell her that he'll wake up because I don't want to give her hope that will only be crushed if he does die. "I can't tell you that everything is going to be all right, because for all I know he could be dead in a minute, but what I do know is that Eldon's strong, he might not get through this but we both know that if he doesn't, he will have died fighting." I know it sounds stupid because seeing him lay there, he doesn't look like a fighter.

I decide to leave Michelle and Eldon and go and find James and Amelia and Lottie and Dom and Isaac and Josh, but I cant help but think that it will feel strange, knowing that even though they are safe Annie is lay in a bed fighting for every breath. Once I finally find them I burst into tears, they all look so scared, their only 2 months old and yet their emotions are written on their faces so clearly I begin to feel so sad. James walks over to me and brings me into a strong hug, "It's not going to be easy babe, but we can get through this, I promise," those words comfort me, even though I know the next few days, weeks and maybe even months are going to be so painful there is still light at the end of the tunnel and I just need to reach it, having James by my side is going to make this so much easier.