The Next Step:Jiley's story

Short and beautiful life

I know that my pain killer is beginning to wear off because I can feel the familiar shooting pains down my arm, this means that I'll have to talk to the doctor about how I feel which I really can't be bothered doing because it's always the same, I always have to tell them that the pain in my arm makes me want to curl up in a ball but they never seem to do anything to get rid of the pain they just say that it'll get better. What makes this whole thing so much worse is that I know somewhere in this building my son is fighting for his life and I'm helpless. I hear a knock on the door and then it opens, revealing James. A weak smile passes my lips when I see him, he walks towards me and pulls my hand into his, what did I do to deserve him?

"James, can I ask you something?" I say, he looks at me and then nods so I carry on  "How's Josh?" I ask simply, I know James will tell me the truth, unlike all the doctors I keep asking

"He's not in a good place, his heart has failed him twice today, I've just been to see him. Doctors say if it fails again they're not going to resuscitate because his heart will be too weak." A tear trickles down my face and onto the white sheet underneath me, this is what I dreaded, doctors giving up on him. He dosn.t deserve this, none of it. James' arm rests on top of my head in a desperate attempt to sooth me without actually being able to hug me. I sigh lightly because I don't want to rupture my lungs, which apparently is a risk right now because they were damaged in the accident, and then close my eyes. Images of our happy family flicker across the back of my eyelids and I try to imagine that nothing has changed but the pain in my arm keeps on reminding me that I am lay in a hospital bed waiting for news on weather or not my son is alive.

Hours had passed since James was here and I still haven't heard anything about Josh but I'm too scared to ask because if I do ask and find out he's dead then I don't know what I'd do. So I just wait, I don't know what I'm waiting to hear but II just lie there thinking about everything that I'd do if I wasn't in hospital. I'd spend all my time with my children and family and I would dance and make sure A-troupe won everything, I'd wake up extra early to make a special breakfast, I'd do all the things that I used to do and all the things I dream of doing. I hear my door open and see a doctor walk in

"Riley, we have some good news and some bad news, what do you want first?" he asks me, I think about this for a few seconds before deciding

"The good news first." I say this because I don't want the good news to be tainted by what I just found out

"Alright, recent results contradict what we thought yesterday and we're almost certain that you'll be able to walk again however it will take intensive physiotherapy." Did I just hear that right? Will I really be able to walk again, maybe I can get over this maybe this isn't the end of dancing "But the bad news is that Josh hasn't survived." My mood goes from in the sky to below the deepest point of the ocean. I can't do this, I can't loose another child. Loosing Annie killed me and now I've lost another. I can't hold on. I pull the sheets above my head and bury myself. I prepare to cry but I feel to numb to cry, the tears refuse to fall because I can't even properly process what just happened. How can't I have my baby Josh with be anymore.

"We can wheel down to his ward to say a final goodbye if you want." he says cutting through my thoughts. I push the covers down

"I want to go." I say confidently, he then nods and takes my bed in his hands, pushing me towards my dead son's body.

When we reach his room I see James weeping across his little bed, that's when it sinks in, Josh is really gone. I'm pushed right up to Josh so I can reach out with my good arm and stroke his tiny face and say a final goodbye. As I'm doing this tears trickle down my face and my vision becomes blurred, this really is the end of Josh's short yet beautiful life, all because of one stupid accident.

A/N: Please don't kill me