The Next Step:Jiley's story

Love

The door opens and their convocation stops. "Riley, we're here." my Dad calls through the house, I realise that I'm curled up on the floor crying, I need to pull myself together so I sit up and call through the house "I'm in the living room," I say and in a matter of seconds they walk through into the living room and my Mom comes over to my side "Oh, Ri how do you feel?" she whispers into my ear after pulling me into a tight hug, I want to break down and cry, then be soothed like I used to be when I was three but I need to stay strong and prove that I can do this so I just say a few simple words "Not too great but I'll get through it." I say before pulling out of the hug and walking towards my Dad "I'm going to go now, make yourself at home, I'll text you when I hear anything." I say whilst I'm leaving, determined to make sure they won't see my tear glazed eyes "Drive safely, Ri." my Mom tells me before I shut the door.

I've been in the car for about ten minutes when I feel the tears ready to poor down my face, my vision becomes blurry and I begin to sob, I keep on driving but I can't see any further than the car in front, I know it's unsafe but I couldn't really care, my life means nothing without James. People are beeping their horns at me but I just keep on driving slowly and unsafely, I know that right now I could be killed by any car ear me, I should be worried but I'm not. I keep on driving and I see the sign for the hospital, I pull into the car park and park the car, by now I'm a shaking sobbing mess but I know I need to try and find James so I climb out of the car but I can't keep on walking so I just sit on the floor and cry, I can't do this anymore, I want to die because I know James is dying but I can't leave my eight perfect, innocent children with no parents. I just keep on crying for about twenty minutes until I feel somebody shaking my shoulder, I look up to see a doctor who appears to have just finished his shift "What's wrong?" she asks but I can't make any words come out of my mouth, she sits down next to me and tries to calm me down "Shhhh, what's happened?" she asks again and this time I try and tell her "My fiancé.....dying." I say between sobs, "Nobody's died on the emergency ward today, is he called James?" she asks and I just nod my head, if she knows his name he must be pretty near death "How's he doing?" I ask determined to calm down enough to find out how he si "He's hanging in there, he lost a lot of blood though, he's still in a critical condition." I'm told and I know that he probably isn't going to survive, but at least he's still alive. "Do you want me to take you to him?" she asks me, I just nod and stand up.

She leads me down winding corridors and finally she points to a door and tells me he's in there "Good luck." she says before turning around, I know that she'll probably never know but I know that she just probably stopped me from committing suicide, I know that I should thank her but she just walks off and out of sight, I sigh and then walk towards James' room, expecting the worst. I knock but get no reply so I just walk through the door and see James, lay there surrounded by thousands of wires but I do see that he's awake or at least his eyes are open. I walk slowly towards him and take a seat next to him. I just watch him, I'm unable to speak and James appears to have no intention of speaking so we just sit there in silence for what feels like ever. "James." I say breaking the silence, he doesn't say anything but I know he's listing so I carry on "I love you, please don't leave, my life has no meaning without you and I couldn't live without you." I say before returning the room to silence, after a few minutes of silence he says something, it appears to take all his strength out of him but he still says it "I love you too." I nod and then pull my hand into his. This might not end well but at least he knows I love him and I know he loves me.