The Next Step:Jiley's story

I forgive you

I just sat in a ball, whilst my son's life was left in the doctors' hands, how was I supposed to handle this? I decided that I needed James he was the one that would make this just a tiny bit better, he was the one that could put this whole think into perspective, the one that I could trust. I pulled my phone out of my back pocket with shaky hands and found James' contact, I didn't think I could handle words right now so decide to just text him

Riley- I forgive you completely, I know you never meant this and I love you too much. Leave the kids with Huntmily or anybody you can find and come to the hospital, Josh isn't in a good place and you need to be with him, and I need you so much it hurts xxx

It took me a few minutes to right it, my hands wouldn't stay still and I kept on having to rephrase, I couldn't express how I felt in just a text easily but I was pleased with the end product. I put my phone back in my pocket and closed my eyes, allowing myself to imagine I was just that little girl who had just joined baby ballet not the mother to eight and the head of the best dance studio in the world, not the mother who had already lost one daughter and was close to losing a son, not the fiancé who nearly let her partner slip away. I opened my eyes and tears began to roll down my face, what I had done so badly to deserve such torture, the not knowing was the worst. Was I really about to have to say goodbye to Josh?

My phone beeped and I looked down to see James had replied I quickly unlocked my phone and read his message

James- I'm coming baby, the kids are at the studio with A-troupe, I left Piper in charge. Please tell me if anything happens.

I smiled slightly at the thought of having James by my side soon, I knew exactly what he meant when he told me to keep him informed, he wanted to tell me if Josh died. I knew that I just had to wait but right now time was moving so slowly that it could be another three years before James arrived.

I decided to pull myself together because right now Josh needed me and I needed to see him so I stood up and walked over to his bed where doctors were still frantically working but I took it upon myself to get to his bedside, I pushed through doctors until I finally reached the chair next to him, I looked at him and saw that the colour had slightly came back to his face and his eyes were open, he looked so much better right now but I knew he was on a knife-edge and at any moment he could be gone forever. I just rested my hand on his head and allowed myself to imagine that we were at home and I was just trying to settle him because he didn't want to go to bed but it was futile. No matter how hard I tried to block out my surroundings I couldn't, I couldn't just imagine that everything was fine because things weren't fine and we were in hospital.

It must have been about an hour after I had sat down next to Josh and all the doctors had when James walked in. I don't think I'd ever been more excited to see him, I stood up and walked over to him whilst he opened his arms and pulled me into a tight embrace

"I love you." I told him from under his shoulder

"I love you too." He replied, I smiled to myself and then pulled away, James needed to know what was going on with Josh so I took a deep breath in and began to explain as much as I could

"Nobody knows what's going on only that it's causing an extreme amount of pain. He's on a high dosage of pain killer but he's still in pain and about an hour and a half ago he went unconscious and lost all the colour from his face." I explained quickly, he nodded and then walked over to the edge of the bed

"Hey bub, Daddy's here now. Just keep on fighting." he said to him, it made me smile, if James still had hope, then so did I.

A/N: I just got a TNS instagram so you should all go and follow that it's TNS_STALKER