The Next Step:Jiley's story

Forgiveness?

A/N: This is really short but I wanted to update so...

Every time Josh wakes up I see his face scrunch up in pain, the strong painkillers and helping enough yet they can't give him anything stronger because of how young he is, I try to sooth him back to sleep when he wakes but I feel useless because I can't get rid of the pain, I'm such a useless mother. But when he's asleep my mind wanders and I begin to think about James and nothing seems right, normally when I think of James my mind clears and I'm not worried anymore but this time it's different, this time he holds no comfort. I can't think of him without thinking about how he doesn't care about the kids. I know he does, I know that he loves them all and I'm just over reacting and really I'm just stressed about Josh but I can't seem to untangle Josh in pain and James not caring, James didn't cause this but right now it really does feel like it.

I look at my phone. As I expected, thousands of texts off James but the one that surprises me is the text off Em, I know she was there and cares about Josh but I didn't expect her to text me, maybe we're closer than I think. I decide to read it

Em- Forgive James, he can't even think right now. He loves you too much to see Jiley falling apart, just text him.

This confuses me even more, is James really this bothered about us and about this argument? I decide to text him because I do love him but this doesn't mean I'm forgiving him.

Me- Hey, I'm sorry for over reacting, I don't forgive you yet but I love you and this fall out isn't enough to pull us apart, just give me time and space-Ri

I smile weakly at my phone, proud of how I managed to tell him how I felt and yet I did it in a way so that he knows he's not off the hook yet.

Almost instantly I get a reply off him, he must have been waiting for this

James- It's fine Riles just know that I'm here for you and if you need a break from the hospital just tell and I'll come and watch Josh. I love you too.

I didn't bother replying, there was nothing else to be said. I just turned my attention back to Josh who had just woken up. He was clearly in pain but this time it was different, this time he had gone white and was barley conscious I knew I had to react quickly but I didn't know what to do so I just ran out to the corridor and began shouting "I need some help!" that's all I could say before doctors were charging towards the room, I'm pushed out again and just sit down on the floor, why does nothing ever go right?