Cut to the beat

Over

It was 12 AM in the Pompeo Ivery household. That meant nothing to the screaming 3 month old baby in Ellen's arms however.

"Can't you get her to sleep?" Chris asked, rubbing his eyes. He had an early meeting the next morning, and did not appreciate his daughter's trouble sleeping. Ellen turned to face him, gritting her teeth.

"Not like you've been trying to help me or anything!" She hissed, walking to the rocking chair where she sat and tried to feed Stella. The first few days it had been hard for Stella to latch on and it had really discouraged Ellen but lately she's been finding her to be less finicky. Tonight? No such luck as Stella downright refused her nipple.

"Want me to get the formula El?" Chris asked, his arms crossed, but his tone soft. He had watched her struggle through this for weeks now. It was making her feel like she couldn't provide, she felt insecure. Ellen looked up at him with a baby in her arms at a complete loss. Stella kept wailing in her arms to make matters worse. Chris sighed, walking out to get the formula ready. Ellen let out a sound of annoyance as he left. They had been struggling. It was obvious and everyone knew it.

Ellen pulled her shirt up and held Stella over her shoulder to try and soothe her. It was frustrating and tiring but Ellen refused to allow herself to give up. She would not give up. She wasn't a quitter. Stella Luna was going to get the life she wanted for Everett Joseph. It was just a struggle, that's all. Stella was a fussy baby, but Ellen didn't quite know if it was right to say that. She's never had a baby until now. Maybe she could tell that she wasn't her biological mother. After a few internet surfs to see if that was a thing between adoptive parents and children which only made Ellen question her entire life did she quit trying to explain that.

She stood up and walked to the window, cradling Stella against her as she watched the neighborhood. A light breeze drifted through the valley that early November night, rustling the leaves of the palms. A black car drove down Ellen's street and parked in the driveway on the far end. Even in the shadows of night Ellen knew who it was stepping out of the car. The dark mop of hair on his head, down to the style of loafer he wore. She turned away as she saw a blonde woman step out of the passenger side.

Flashbacks played in her head of the last time they spoke.
-----
"You signed away the rights to our child! I have every right to be pissed at you Patrick!" Ellen shouted across the trailer as they fought. It was Ellen's first day back on set and neither of them could handle it. After realizing Everett was gone forever things blew up. Ellen threw Patrick out of her life, almost similarly to the way their son was gone as well.

"I wanted to go see you. Make sure everything was okay! Damn it Ellen. Look at me, look me in the eyes for once. You made this a problem the second you let those strangers into our lives," Patrick rose his voice, his nostrils flaring. "I didn't want them Ellen. I didn't want to loose him."

"You think I wanted to? I didn't even want to name him Patrick! I originally wanted to be closed off so we didn't get over emotional but now my whole everything is different. I carried Everett to term. I had this thing inside of me. I had to feed him, I had to soothe him. I spent days worrying I was going to loose him again because my stupid brain can't tell the difference between kicking and the pain I felt when I miscarried. Is that what you want to hear Patrick? I don't know what you want from me or to blame me. Our son is gone and I'm loosing you in the process." Ellen poured herself out, pacing back and forth, her hands flying. Patrick watched the small woman across from him as his heart sank. He bit his tongue. He didn't want to ruin them. Opening his mouth again would just lead to agony between them he knew that for sure. "We had to leave him Patrick. One way or another to do this!" Ellen gestured at the trailer and her scrubs.

"I shouldn't have picked a show over a baby. I shouldn't have...I could have provided everything for him too...." Patrick shook his head, pulling at his hair. Everything sort of came crashing over him like a wave in slow motion. Ellen began tearing up, stepping back.

"Oh god. You think I'm a terrible person don't you! You think that I'm vain, that I should have given up everything for him." Her breathing sped up as her heartbeat did. Patrick twisted his hands for a few minutes in silence. He didn't know what to say. Honestly as he thought more the only thing tying him down to keep signing for Greys was Ellen. It was season 6. He kept getting a raise and syndication money was enough to last forever. Let the scandals reign over them both. Ellen however didn't have that luxury.

She knew she was being paid less than Patrick. She knew she was getting therefore less in syndication. Her early season budget had been blown and she had to make herself make a savings fund. Her money wasn't nearly as secure as Patrick's. She was always afraid to loose it. Acting was her passion her life, everything. How could she back away?

"I-" Patrick was cut off as soon as he opened his mouth.

"You know what just get out!" Ellen pointed to the door, trying her hardest not to sob. "Go now. I don't ever want to see you in my trailer again. We're co workers now Patrick. Treat me like one."

Patrick carried himself out, slamming the door.
Ellen let out a quiet sob, she had lost her love.
-----
Ellen glanced over her shoulder, seeing the couple walk to the doorway. The couple. She scoffed at herself. Patrick and Jill.

"Here." Chris picked Stella out of her arms while handing her the formula. Ellen sat back down and reached out for her, smiling. She was hurt but that doesn't mean Stella has to hurt. Chris walked to the window now, staring out at the neighborhood. The wind picked up and rain began to pelt down on them.

"It's late Ellen. I'm going back to sleep. Night Stella Luna," Chris cooed, kissing Stella's forehead before he walked out. This left Ellen alone with no sounds but the rain and Stella sucking. And the sounds of her brain running in circles because she couldn't take what what happened. Patrick wasn't there anymore. He was just gone. She saw him on set. She kissed in front of a crew, trying not to show him that she still had feelings during those scenes, or that she was bothered when Jill showed up outside his trailer waiting for him.

They were over.