Cut to the beat

Bittersweet

Patrick didn't leave. He had no real response for Ellen's comment, other than refusing to reply. The conversation changed, the day passed, the offer still stood.

It had been two days. Ellen's sister and father were on the first plane out, meanwhile things were tense for her and Patrick.

"It's one AM, get back in bed Paddy," Ellen groggily said as she stood in the doorway of what once was Everett's room. Patrick sat on his knees in the middle of the room, a stuffed dinosaur in front of him. He didn't want to touch a thing in the room, to move it.

"Can't sleep." Came Patrick's reply. He shook his head.

"Patrick. You need to sleep. Come on. Staying in his room won't make him come back. He's gone." Ellen countered, sighing. She hated talking about it. She hated dealing with this.

"Go to bed if you're so obsessed with sleep." Patrick snapped. He didn't even turn to speak to Ellen, afraid to show her his late night stubble, and his bloodshot eyes. He hadn't slept in days. Neither had Ellen, noticing the empty dent in their bed as he went to Everett's room.

"Patrick," Ellen whispered, shaking her head. She couldn't be the strong rock he needed to lean on and it hurt. Ellen turned, walking into the hall. She felt the soft carpet beneath her toes as she went towards her bedroom. She clenched her feet in the plush carpet, her fists at her side. She was here. She was alive. Ellen laid back in the huge bed, turning to face the wall. She couldn't take it. Through the days she was strong, for Stella's sake but tonight was where the tears fell. They cascaded down her freckled cheeks and into the pillowcase. It was everything. The anger at herself, at this world she had birthed Everett into. The agony of loosing him...she had just gotten used to waking up to a pair of blue green eyes staring back at her. Everett had become routine. He had become life for her and he was gone.

Eventually Ellen's sobs turned into exhausted sleep, and she woke to her door bell chiming early in the morning. She bolted up in bed, grumbling, unsure of why on earth someone was at her door. Ellen peered at the clock on her bedside table. It was 5AM. She shook her head and padded downstairs to the front door.

"Oh Ells," Ellen opened the door to see her sister and father standing there with suitcases and her heart lurched. They had come to take care of her.

"Maureen, Papa," She breathed before turning to let them inside. Maureen waltzed in, shaking her head as Ellen reached to take the luggage. She shooed her away.

"No, no Ells, you go straight back to bed. I can can get papa and I set up in the guest rooms. Go." Maureen ordered Ellen, hands on her hips. She was not about to let her baby sister do what she always did, that is to push her feelings down and get on with life. No this time Maureen had decided Ellen was going to live and breathe, she would feel everything. Whether Ellen wanted to or not.

The other woman sighed, knowing she was no match for her older sister and walked straight back up stairs to collapse in bed. She had slept somewhat but Ellen was fooling herself by considering it sleep when it was a fit of exhaustion making her eyes shut for an hour. She curled up on the sheets, staring outside at the rising sun. Bitterly she glared for a moment. How dare the sun come out after I lost the light in my life, she thought.
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Patrick walked downstairs into the kitchen where Maureen was busy making breakfast.

"Oh Patrick! I didn't know when you'd all get up, uh my father is in his guest room sleeping but I'm actually full of energy and I wanted Ells to sleep-" Maureen began rambling as she scrambled the eggs, smiling at Patrick. It pained her to know her sister and her family were hurting but she wasn't going to give into the pain.

"Oh it's uh nice Maureen, really, thank you." Patrick yawned as he went to start the coffee maker. He leaned against the counter, pulling down his favorite mug. It was one he had given Ellen years ago as a gift during a Christmas party on set. It was gold with a map of the world etched out. It had faded over the years but there was a blue star on it, marking Boston, that still stood out. Patrick smiled, rubbing his thumb against it. God how he wished he was away from all of the pain this lifetime had thrown at him.

"Have you been sleeping?" Maureen questioned as she put the eggs on a serving plate, and then went to make toast. Patrick looked down into the warm brown coffee in his mug, shying away from Maureen's questions.

"I'm uh doing what I can." He replied, hastily taking a sip of coffee. Maureen shook her head and reached over to gently rub Patrick's shoulder.

"You know Patrick...when I first heard about you and my sister I was livid. I was rash and upset and then you came to our door with that cranberry pie and something clicked. Maybe it was the way Ellen looked at you with those big green eyes of hers or how she blushed at you like a teen would do. But you make her happy. You're her world." She explained, going back to pull some jam out of the fridge for her own toast. Patrick smiled as Maureen spoke, and he could see what she meant. He was growing insecure over this entire predicament.

"I just...don't want her to leave again." Patrick said softly, setting his coffee mug down. Maureen nudged him out of the way, making a second mug.

"She won't leave if you don't push her away. Go take this up to her." Maureen slid a warm fresh cup of coffee in Patrick's hand and a breakfast plate in the other all while shaking her head.
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"I brought breakfast up. Maureen made it." Patrick said as he entered the master bedroom. Ellen lay on her side, away from him. He set the plate and coffee on her bedside table before crawling into bed beside her. "Els? Hey, come on. Wake on up, eat a little bit." Patrick gently rubbed her back, watching her stir slightly at his touch. Ellen rolled over, stretching out. She looked up at him with those damn green eyes, and his stomach knotted. He was so upset that Ellen had lost Everett. More than she could possibly know.

"Did Maureen...talk to you? You know, knock some sense into that brain?" Ellen asked, teasing him as she sat up to drink the coffee. Patrick looked away, feeling bashful.

"Maureen may have told me some things...anyway Ells it's about us. I'm sorry I've been screwed up lately, and I've let myself push you away. It's not okay." He let it all out, sighing. Ellen set her coffee down, shaking her head. She reached up to ruffle Patrick's dark curls.

"Paddy, oh Paddy. Our son is dead. That's not changing anytime soon. We'll be okay you and me. I promise." Ellen moved her body closer to his, smiling up at him. "Everett did his job while he was here. He brought his mom and dad together again."

Patrick kissed the top of Ellen's messy bed head, his arms around her. He rocked her softly, smiling, and inhaling the coffee in the air. She was right. Everett brought them together again. There was nothing more in that moment that could be better than knowing their worlds had changed so much in the past year. Changed for the better. Everett accomplished so much , with merely existence.