Kids In The Dark || 2Jae

Part | 2 |

Youngjae's POV

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Somebody shut that thing off before I kill myself.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

I hate it here.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

I miss you Jaebum.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Why aren't you here consoling me?

Beep. Beep. Beep.

My mom came a few times. Crying, sleeping, crying again. I wanted to rip out this tube, the restraints, everything to take her in my arms and say everything is going to be ok.

I'm here mom. I would've said. I'm alive.

But I can't. I'm a vegetable that is showing no signs of life. Or at least that's what I heard the doctor say. He's a stupid doctor that doesn't know shit. I'm obviously alive. I'm laying on this uncomfortable 1 star bed for Pete's sake!

Mark came too. He held my hand and stayed strong while my mom was here. But as soon as she excited the room, he burst into tears. I hate not being able to do anything. I want to stop them from crying, stop them from hurting.

Jinyoung never came with Mark. I thought he of all people would be there for him in his time of need. It just angers me more that I have as much power as broccoli.

But Jaebum. He's never here. He never came. But I can't. I can't remember.

"Doctor! Look!" My mom is yelling again. Usually she points out some readings to prove I'm mentally active but the doctor disproves her. Let's see what she says now. "He's crying!"

I could hear the doctors footsteps come closer, checking up on the fact that I actually was crying. Jaebum. New tears spill over and he writes harshly on his clipboard. "I'll be right back." With that, he leaves my mom and I alone. Jingles can be heard so I assume she's rummaging through her purse. A couple of seconds later and I feel her tissues cleaning the tears from the corners of my eyes.

"You're going to get better Youngjae. I promise." Her hold tightens on my lifeless hand. "I'll call Mark." And Jaebum. Call Jaebum. "Mark? Hey could you come down? No he's not... But there's signs. Mark he was crying. Ok we'll be here."

She sighs, ending the call. Why won't she call Jaebum? Where is he? My mind goes in overdrive as I try to remember.

Bush, sidewalk, Mark, road, car, Jaebum. Fear flows through me and I get scared at what could have happened. All I get are flashes, pictures, flashes of pictures. Nothing helps. Did I do something to Jaebum? Is he mad? Memories flood in of our time together. Those are the only memories that really stick.

Us, together.

My tears fall again, immediately picked up by another tissue. "I know, Youngjae. This is hard for all of us."

My mind travels back to Jaebum, the only person I care about. I never said I love you. If there is one thing that's haunting me is that I never got around to it. He told me so many times. Always saying that he would wait for me to say it, wait until I was ready.

But I never did.

And now I'm stuck here and he won't come visit me.

I'm crying.