TRIGGER WARNING: this contains triggering content. reader's discretion is advised.
nabigla ako kasi hindi ko inakalang magkakaroon 'to ng triggering contents i'm—
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THIRD | Hello, Seungcheol
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NOTHING.
He really feels nothing.
Of course he can feel the sensation of pain. Gumagana pa rin naman ang mga nerve cells niya, gumagana pa rin naman ang mga pain detectors sa buong katawan niya. He can feel the pain of a pinch, he can feel the pain of being burnt, the searing sensation. Walang depekto sa kanyang tactile sense kaya makakaramdam siya ng kahit anong sakit sa pisikal na pamamaraan.
What he's numb of is something more than the physical aspect could reach.
And Jihoon wished to be paralyzed all over instead of feeling so dead. Inside.
"Jihoon?"
He turned to his nurse, who smiled the moment he did.
Jihoon can pull off a smile like that too. Maaari naman kasi niyang makontrol ang kanyang facial muscles para ngumiti. But he didn't want to smile without feeling the actual happiness behind it. He was already empty inside, he didn't want to add onto that when he smiles emptily. It all seemed pointless, you know.
Jihoon won't smile. Not until it wouldn't become so much as a chore for him.
"I-che-check ko na ang vital signs mo, okay?"
Jihoon nodded and laid back unto the bed. The feeling of the soft material underneath his small frame seems very familiar to him, along with the hushed creaking of the bed. Mula sa paghiga hanggang sa pagtitig sa kisame habang ginagawa ng nurse niya ang kanyang trabaho sa gilid, kabisadong-kabisado niya. For a moment he was dazed, caught in the silence of the atmosphere save for the faint beeping of a machine somewhere.
He was caught in a daze of it all.
Ang fact na nakahiga siya sa kama, nakatitig sa kisame at hindi gumagalaw.
At that moment, he felt bare. Stripped naked. Cold. A little uncoordinated.
He was far from peaceful.
Maaaring nagmumukha siyang kalmado sa kanyang mukha pero hindi ito ang nangyayari sa kaloob-looban niya. He was far more incoherent and dismantled within. But all the noises inside him were a static mess, ringing and echoing inside his brain like a dull sting.
