Jerk

chapter twenty three

once i finished my work out session i went home and showered. my mom was cooking dinner and kian was in his room. after i finished changing i ran upstairs to kians room, still drying my hair. "dude what the hell is that smell?" i said. then i soon realized what it was. he's doing it again. he can't he promised not to.

"kian what the fuck! you promised you'd stop smoking after dad died! you fucking promised!" i said walking up to him and slapping his cheek. then kian did something he never did. he slapped me and pushed me. i lay on the floor crying. kian starts walking towards me but i slowly pushed myself away. kian grabs my arm, causing it to hurt. "let me go!" i said. "i wouldnt have started you didnt have to bring more drama into our lives after he passed. your causing this pain jenn! stop making everything about you!" he yelled. making my mom run into the room.

"KIAN LET HER GO!" she yelled. he let me go and backed up, shaking his head. i got up and ran out his run, running down the stairs out the house.

once im out i feel cold air hit me. i look at my hair to see its still wet, look who's gonna get sick. i look for my phone in my pocket but its not there. oh well. i start walking to jacks house. once i got there he was outside, sitting on his porch.

"hey" i said. he looks up at me and gasps. i look down at my outfit, i was wear my sports bra and shorts. i chuckle and look at him. he runs to me and hugs me, "jenn it's freezing cold outside and your dressed like that?" he said giving me his sweater. "jack im fine" i said. "you'll be cold, or get sick." i said. "as long as you don't im fine with that." he said.

i sighed and cuddled with him. "can we go inside?" i asked. he nodded and picked me up. once we reach his room he lays me on his bed and covered me with his blanket. "whats wrong jenn?" he asked. "nothing." i said looking down. im surprised he didnt see my face. i bruise easily. "look at me in the eyes and tell me nothing is wrong and then i'll believe you." he said. i look up at him, "nothing is wrong." i said causing a tear to slip.

"who did that!?" he said examining my face. "i bumped into the door." i said. "jenn" he said. "kian." i whispered. "what? kian? no he wouldnt do that to you, to me yeah but you?" he said. "he's smoking again." i said. "he smokes?" he asked. "he started after the funeral, it all started that day. he couldn't handle it. he went out one night and didn't come back for a week. when he came back he told me all he did was smoke. he told me he almost died, that he was this close to ending his life. he purposely crashed into a wall, at the party. jack you have no clue how much that hurt me. i couldn't lose him, i couldn't. hes my brother, my other half. to see him hurting now, hurts me the most bc its my fault."

"this is not your fault, babe. he needs his space. give him a fay or two bc you know he loves you way to much to be mad at you." he said kissing my cheek. "jack, i don't wanna leave. i don't wanna be there alone when he's like that. my mom is so worried, i don't want her stressing." i sighed. "you stay here as you want to." jack said

i smiled and soon drifted to sleep.

12.49 am.

i look around the room to see i wasnt home. i was with jack, i look at him and see him sleeping. im going to do something im definitely going to regret. i look around for a paper and pen.

once i found them, i began writing.

Dear Jack,

hey jack its me jenn. i'm not doing this to hurt you, i'm not saying im leaving you forever. i just need to visit my dad's grave, and spend time alone. i may be exaggerating but its been a while since i have been there. i love you so much, jack. you may have broke my heart twice, but my love for you is the same since day one. i'm probably gonna stay there for a week. if you want to tell everyone thats fine, just let kian know this isnt his fault. its no ones fault. looking at you right now, not in a creepy way but you look so peaceful and adorable. jack i love you. tell everyone i love them. tell matthew and jordyn to not worry. you to jack, dont worry ill be okay. i have my family. don't worry about how ill be able to pay my flight or place, i have saved money.

jack take care. i love you.

                            - much love from jenn.