My First Crush

My Realization

     Bob sat next to me in 1 hour. Of all the seats he sat next to me! But, I couldn't bring myself to say anything to him until end of the class. He had ear buds in the whole time, but he kept looking at me. I thought it was bit weird, and every time he glanced over, my stomach would melt and then I couldn't think straight. My teacher came over and asked how the essay was going amd then walked away. When she did I caught Bob's eyes, and my words got stuck in my throat. I got mad at myself for not speaking up. So I finally did.

"Hey how is your essay coming along?" I asked trying to not sound high pitch.

"Pretty good. Yesterday I was going to type it but I got distracted. Now I have to fill these papers out and try to remember to do so this weekend." He said and then immediately sank in his seat. I thought it was out of being tired, but perhaps it was out embarrassment.

"Aah I see... so what do you think about the testing?" I asked trying to have a conversation but not without sounding desperate.

"It was okay. The science part dumped me." He said and smiled, melting me again.

"The math part. I didn't rememeber tangent, sin, and cosin." I said feeling my cheeks twinge with a bit of warmness.

"Yeah. I forgot my calculator since I was studying the night before." He said and looked down then back into my eyes. "So I flunked when it said,"What is 40 * 97?" So I ended up just guessing C." He began to blush a little bit, and I couldn't help but smile. Someone butted in the conversation and then class ended.

   We went into the hall and just as I was about to say something to Bob, he said hi to someone. That someone was some really pretty girl. Then it kept happening! It was like he knew every pretty girl in school! And I'm just over here looking like a potato, bruised and mushy. I know I can't compete with those girls. Should I even continue trying? Should I just stop? All this time and.... *sigh* 😧 my thoughts are overwhelming. He knows every cheerleader by name. I mean I can't even stand by them without looking like a mashed potatoe!

(I need advice. My thoughts got me down)