My First Crush

Fear of Regret

    I am afraid I will regret. I am scared that soon it will be too late and... and I will be gone. I'm scared that later I'm gonna regret not making a move. That I will regret not telling Bob I like him. That I will regret not trying harder. That I didn't take a chance.

      I am afraid that I will regret all the things I didn't do. That I will regret not hanging out, not inviting him places, and not being with him.

        I am afraid that I will regret all the things I did do. How embarassing I was around him. That I will regret how I stumbled over my words, and blushed. That I will regret the way I look him, hoping he would notice.

         I'm afraid that I do regret. I regret not telling him sooner. I regret that after school I have no one to lean against and tell how my day was. I regret that no matter how many dreams I have about him, that I won't get the chance to tell him. I regret that I haven't given him the letter.

        My conclusion? I'm gonna tell him. I'm going to invite him over to hang out. I'm gonna tell him I got a crush on him. I'm gonna tell him about those dreams. I'm going to let him know how much I care before it is too late.....

      I will do this tomorrow. I'm tired of putting this back. I'm tired of waiting. I'm tired of being afraid of being rejected. I'm tired of letting my fears hold me back. I'm tired of holding things in.