My First Crush

The Rejection

(Sorry for such a wait on the update. Was absent on Monday and took a day or two to let what happen sink in. This one is going to be a bit long. sorry)

        I have seen Bob around school more than usual, I guess it is pretty nice. I got to 6 hour and saw him walk in. I looked at him and noticed that his hair seemed to be a bit different today. I was staring at it in admiration, when I realized he was staring back at me. He looked at me with his head tilted ever so slightly, smiling a side grin, and had a hint of confusion pasted in his eyes. 

"Oh, sorry. Did you do something different to your hair?" I asked looking down shamefully. He slid his fingers through his hair, making it even more gorgeous, and looked at me in approval. 

"How's that? Did I make it better?" He asked in approval. I was taken by surprise, but then realized he probably didn't realize what I said over the sound of everyone talking. 

"Oh, yeah your hair looks nice. There wasn't anything wrong with it, I was just wondering if you did something different?" I asked again, having his full attention. He smiled at me, making me melt.

"Oh thanks. Nope didn't do anything different. Does... does it look bad?" He asked a bit hesitantly.

"No I really like it." I responded, and after realizing how it sounded I looked down embarrassed. He chuckled and then class started.

     I didn't know what to do. I asked my friends to help but they didn't know either, so I decided to give him the letter. It just said I had a crush on him, and my number was on the bottom of the letter. I side glanced at him and saw him smiling at me. I blushed at the sight of him, and tried to focus on class. Before I knew it, class was over. I grabbed the letter and stood up. I followed him out the classroom, and saw him go down the opposite hall. 

"Hey Bob!" I shouted, my voice shaking. He stopped and came up to me. My hands were shaking, and my palms were getting clammy.

"Yes Sara?" He asked with a smooth voice. 

"I-uh-I" I took a deep breath and looked down. "I am going to tell you something but it's going to be really fast. IlikeyouI'vehadacrushonyouforawhile. Anyways, here you go." I said quickly and handed him the letter, and quickly walked away. 

    All weekend I was nervous wreck. Did he give my number to others? Did he just throw away the letter? Why hasn't he responded? All these questions and many more bombarded my mind constantly. Sunday night I finally got a response. 

Hey Sara it's Bob. 

Hey... I guess you got the letter?

Yeah.... 

so...

Can we talk about the letter?

Sure.. What's the problem?

I don't like you in that way...

Oh...

Don't be upset! I just got out of a relationship and...

Your not ready for another one?

Yep..

Well... I wasn't exactly wanting a relationship just wanting to let you know before it was too late. 

Thanks... anyways see you tomorrow?

Yeah sure.. see you then.

    My heart shattered! It was like I got soccer punched, and had bad period cramps at the same time. I didn't know what to do! I mean what all could I do!? After a bit, it sank in, and I got devastated. I felt like crying and screaming! But, all I could do was sit there shocked. Tears refused to come out, and my heart refused to feel. My eyes became soulless and my voice hollow. I had so many questions, but none would come out. I felt like crying myself to sleep. I hoped for so long, I even thought that maybe we had a chance! But, I guess I was wrong... I became angry, but soon the anger left me and grief took its place. It was like all my hopes have died, like there was nothing left inside me. I couldn't leave my room, I could barely even stand up. 

   Then a song came on the radio, and I listened to the lyrics. It gave me hope, and I decided that maybe he wasn't the one for me, that maybe there was someone else better that could make me happy without dragging my emotions everywhere. The moment I accepted it, it was like all this weight had lifted off my shoulders. Suddenly, I was caught by surprise! I realized I wasn't wishing bad things on him, like stepping on a Lego, instead the only thing I wished for him was that he was happy. Even if it wasn't me by his side, that at least he was happy.