Don't Let Me Drown

One

"Hey, Avi, why don't you k*ll yourself already? You're nothing, nobody would even notice if you did" the entire class laughed and I rolled my eyes. The kid threw a balled-up piece of paper at me and I sighed. What a fucking asshole.

"Haven't you heard? I already died inside, my body is empty, and just like there's nothing there in your brain. I'm sure everyone would notice when my body finally collapses because nobody would have me to fuck with. I take pride in being weird and myself, so fuck off" everyone was dead silent and I turned back in my seat to finish the stupid math problem. I can't fucking wait to be out of this hell hole. I can't fucking wait until I'm eighteen too. I'll be free from everything.

"Alright Miss Jacobs, you've been excused for your court date" I packed all my shit up and stood up seeing my police escort. I smiled at the officer and he cuffed me while taking my bag. We walked through the quiet halls of my stupid high school to the cruiser.

"How's your day Jim?" I asked while he opened the door for me.

"Pretty good, ready to get that ankle bracelet off?" He asked. I've had the stupid shit on for seven months and for something completely stupid. I had no idea that possession of drugs had higher consequences than attempted murder. Yeah someone tried to murder me, I know my life is shitty. We won't dwell on it.

"Hell yeah, what's my new sentence?" I asked and he glared at me. "Yeah I know you don't know, but any rumors in the break room?"

"No, and if I had any clue I still wouldn't tell you so eat the damn sandwich I left you" I smiled and sat back grabbing the sandwich.

"Thank you" I whispered.

"When was the last time you ate Avi?" He asked.

"I don't keep track, I just take what they give me" I muttered watching the city go by. I saw a huge crowd and furrowed my brows before ignoring it. "What was that crowd for?"

"A band my daughter's obsessed with, they got a mural there for their new album," he said. I left it at that before finishing my sandwich and looking at my hands. Damn, I wish I had a phone to just listen to music and ignore everyone until I'm eighteen. Everyone can't wait to be eighteen because freedom and benign adult, but I can't wait until I'm eighteen because no more probation officers, abusive foster parents, and I finally won't be government property anymore. I'll be able to do whatever I want.

"Alright Miss Jacobs, this will be your last time here correct?" My probation officer said giving me a stern look. I nodded and waited for Jim to handcuff me. I hopped out of the car and we walked up the steps of the courthouse and I saw a group of guys taking pictures with people. Some of the guys were covered in tattoos and looked pretty badass. I want to get so many tattoos when I'm older and more piercings, so far I only have my ears stretched and a nose piercing I did myself. It was pretty chaotic to do, but nobody cards anymore.

"Keep moving Avi" I tripped over my feet and ended up falling hard on the concrete steps. I ended up hitting my hip bone and ribs which fucking hurt against my bruises. I hissed in pain and saw my knee was scraped up pretty bad.

"Hey, are you okay?" I looked up seeing one of the guys that was taking pictures with people. He was tall and had his sunglasses on. I nodded and he helped me up while Jim looked apologetic. I nodded at him and he released the tension in his shoulders.

"Thank you" I whispered and he smiled.

"No problem, good luck" I smiled before walking up the steps again with Jim. We waited in the room and I sat down playing with my hands, it was so boring waiting for the judge. People started coming into the courtroom and one of the guys with many tattoos sat in the jury. I turned around to see the man who helped me up and he noticed me too. Him and three other men waved at me making me smile.