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WARNING: In this chapter there will be a disgraceful picture. Just letting you know from now.
Ok, so in today's society physical appearance is one of the major topics that is either very touchy, or just something that people are now coming to terms with. Usually we as women have heard something in our younger years that my have caused us to see ourselves differently. There are things that people may have found strange, and decided to tease you about it because to them its just weird. I come from a very small country, and the island I lived on (see the introduction chapter for map, to get a better understanding) had very few people, so a lot of kids were not exposed to much, and were yes I dare say it 'small minded'. Growing up I was teased by mainly boys, because I have hairy skin and according to them I'm built like a man, or as some said I look like a football player, because my shoulders are broad.
Because of this and additional teasing for other things, I hated myself. It got so bad that I would look at myself in the mirror and repeat every negative thing that was ever said to me, all because everyone around me said things like that, and I barely heard anything positive. So in my little mind I was thinking, " I'm hearing more negative than positive, so the negative must indeed be true". I would constantly chant the negative things and beat it into my brain because I felt like I needed to be punished for being ugly, for being shapeless, for looking like a man, for having acne. What made it even more painful, was the fact that it was all male 'opinions' and knowing how we are as children, once one guy says something, everyone of them follow.
With the constant burdens of the negative 'opinions' on my appearance, my body language started to change. I started to slouch a lot, I would always hang my head low, eye contact was impossible for me. And instantly someone can tell how confident you are by your body language and the way you carry yourself. That can affect you in a negative way, because if someone instantly senses you have a low self esteem, that is when they know they have the power to continuously break you.
Years later when puberty kicked in, that's when all the guys or should I say 'boys' started to say things like 'oh your so pretty, I always liked you know' 'I can treat you good if you let me be your man' and all the stupid things that 'boys' always say. That made me realize following what people say about how you look, or at least how they think you look is not worth hearing. You and God are the best evaluators. How you see yourself and the way you carry yourself is all that matters. People's opinions will always change, but your opinion and God's opinion will always be the same.
There are various stories that I can refer to, but two in particular stuck with me.One because I could relate, and the other because I've seen many people who have went through this. I hope I don't push any buttons, because this is not a book for a specific race, its for all races, shapes and sizes. The first story, is about this girl that said she was constantly teased, and was told that her lips are ugly because they are so too big, and she shouldn't wear dark lipstick because of it.Today people are now using lip liners to draw what is not there , and using various tools to make their lips plump. This goes to show that, society has 'trends' and we can't base our life decisions and how we think we look based on these 'trends', we have to do like Mary J. Blige said "Work what you got" .
