take care

sixteen

Penelope,

Well it's a week exactly before your birthday and I just got finished with having a panic attack. Poor Harry, he's never had to deal with this before and he was freaking out almost as much as I was. He was running around the flat finding stuff to calm me down. It finally ended a little bit after Harry had sat me on our bed and just cuddled me. I know he was freaking out the whole time and I'm glad he was there to help me.

After my panic attack he went and called Eleanor and Louis. El was my rock, she was there whenever I needed her. They came shortly after he called them and when they got here she ran up to me and jumped into my arms. I wasn't expecting that, and I struggled holding her up because she's so tall, but somehow I found it very comforting.

Harry and Lou decided they were going to go get some take away or something like that. El and I both knew it was just an excuse for them to leave us alone.

I told Eleanor how it was a week before your birthday and I was freaking out quite a bit. This will be the first birthday since we were five that I'm not able to celebrate with you. Even after One Direction was formed I would find a way to visit you during your birthday. If I'm freaking out now, imagine how I'm going to be on your actual birthday.

When Louis and Harry came back I was feeling a lot better. Harry looked like he may have been crying. His nose was red and a little runny and his eyes looked a bit watery but I blamed it on the cold. I honestly think I'm just doing that because if Harry cried I know it would've been my fault, and I would hate to think that I did that to him.

I suppose that's all I have for you today. I'm probably not going to write to you until your birthday. The more I write you the harder it is because I know this is silly and pointless. You're never going to receive these letters so I'm basically just torturing myself.

Take Care,

Niall x

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A/N OH MY GOD THE NEXT COUPLE OF CHAPTERS ARE SO IMPORTANT, ESPECIALLY THE NEXT ONE!!! *cough* I kinda explain what "the incident" is *coughcough* Happy Super Bowl Sunday for us Americans! Who's team are you on?  Anyways, today I'm dedicating this to NataliaMonroe because I loved your comments. Normally I wouldn't count comments when people repeatedly comment to get to the number I gave out (if that makes sense, I'm bad at explaining things) but this girl did it anyways, and idk it made me laugh so here you go!

Next Posting Date: February 5th I've updated a lot recently so I think it's time for a break