Fuck,
Well here it is, the day I've been dreading. With everything happening I almost forgot about it, but there are some things you can't forget.
Today would've been Harry and I's one month anniversary.
That's what fucks with me the most, we hadn't even been dating for a month. Some of the best and worst moments of my life all happened within a month timespan, not even. If I can let someone destroy me that easily, what does it say about me? Sure, we had fucked before we started dating but we still were only dating for three weeks! Three weeks and I wanted to take my life because of him! I had a new low in my life thanks to him.
Why did I even fall in love with him? Why couldn't he have just left me alone when I was depressed like everyone else. My depression is ten times worse thanks to that asshole.
I suppose I can't be mad at him for that. If he would've left me alone my depression probably would've gotten worse on my own. I probably would've done something even stupider like self harm or some shit like that.
Wait a second-
Self harm seems to help a lot of people, Pen. Maybe it will even help me. I don't know, maybe this a bad idea but so was Harry and I still ended up doing that.
Take Care,
Niall
P.S. I don't really know if self harm works for me. I'm so numb right now I can barely feel it.
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A/N I'm in a really pissy mood right now. I also feel slightly numb. Ugh, fucking pills. Well here's the chapter. Not much but it's important. Ok, two things: one, what's my ship name with Louis (I'm Olivia btw)? I feel like it's Louvia. Does that work? Two, if you wrote me a one shot for me and Louis I WOULD OWE YOU MY LIFE PLEASE WRITE ME ONE! Dedicated to jessicamarie12_ because it's her birthday!
Next Posting Date: May 23
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take care
Fanfiction[ONGOING] ❝to be honest, it's nice that harry's here with me.❞ ❝for some reason I don't feel so lonely.❞ ❝take care❞ ❝niall❞ in which niall writes letters to an old friend WriteIdea © #914 in fanfiction
